LiFe StOrY

琴虽静，弦不断

2010-03-31T22:30:00.001+08:00

忘却痛彻心肺，以为心如止水。

看似风轻云淡，却是狂风暗吹。

琴虽静，弦不断，空穴来风，琴弦声声响。

剪不断，理还乱，久未重逢，简讯扰心房。

愁断肠，心缭乱，一曲思念，止不了风，到不了岸。

我不是你想象那么勇敢

2009-08-29T23:46:00.000+08:00

已经习惯了在不快乐的时候写博客。也习惯性的以为自己很快乐。习惯性的把悲伤留给自己，也习惯性的在哀伤时不言不语。习惯性地做白日梦但也不由得被逼回到现实中。习惯性的摆臭脸也不由得对陌生人摆出自己最虚伪的笑脸。习惯性的等待不会来的回应但也被时间逼得认清原来只是南柯一梦。当你以为地界是你的美丽城堡时，转身看看原来你的城堡建在九崇云端，而云雾渐散，而你却独自慢步云端。

生日与肚痛

2009-04-09T01:05:00.001+08:00

突然一阵痛，我知道又是你给我的折磨。这份痛来得真是时候，折腾我，就在那最紧要关头。事实上，你的存在我不是没有察觉，只是没有想到你任困扰着我的现在于未来。原来胜负已经分得很清楚，主宰情绪的是无形的你，不是真实的我。

我什么都没有，就只有一坛醋

2009-04-02T15:16:00.001+08:00

今天在班上听同学呈述报告。让我听得怒火狂烧。烧起的不止是体内的热血，烧坏的不止是常人的理智，烧毁的不止是一颗善良的心。这是疯狂的嫉妒，还是隐逸的孤独？为什么美貌和智慧我都无。命运还残忍的夺走我的幸福，让可怜的我什么都没有只剩一坛醋？从一无是处变成了过街老鼠？

《一切完美2》

2009-03-21T01:25:00.002+08:00

现在是凌晨1点钟，刚忙完手上的工作。发现有中对幸福有所领悟的感觉。或许是因为刚看完《一切完美2》的理由。原来一部简单的戏剧也能让我有所感悟。我发现其实幸福其实很简单，想要得到幸福只要包容对方一切的不完美，承认自己的不完美。我有种被感动的感觉，特别是在男主角中外国得知女方可能患病而飞奔回国。就在那时候我问了问我自己，假如我是女主角，在当时的情况下会有一个人不顾一切把所有的工作飞奔到我身旁陪伴我吗？或许没有吧…幸福在这一刻真的很美，美得就算是哪四方格以外的我也不得不被感动。但我却只能做在四方格外羡慕他人的爱。或许他们的幸福真的很美真的很让人感动，但他是也唤醒了我内心那一份遗憾，我感觉到的是甜但也感觉到酸和苦涩。已经要到深夜两点了，我真的不想想太多，只想借着这个机会记得甜的职位是如何。

许愿树xu yuan shu - 郭美美guo mei mei

想对命运说的话

2009-02-21T00:14:00.001+08:00

想对命运说的话：
（作詞：戴佩妮作曲：戴佩妮）

讓窗戶通通都打開讓陽光通通照進來
讓風放肆的吹散我身上的塵埃
把你的過去變腐壞把你的溺愛藏起來
把你的所有都搬到我房間以外

現在是三點鐘你應該還沒醒呢
這有點刺眼的光線會不會打擾你呢
夢不會實現了我應該要醒了
我不該只懂得配合你習慣短暫的溫熱

我努力要自己避開和你曾走過的地帶
但是又和不捨拉扯處在我快樂的界外
我何嘗不是一個人來決定愛的延長賽
奈何總是勉強對自己有一個善良的交代

我努力要自己躲開你給我的傷心地帶
但是又和失去拉扯得到的全都是意外
到現在還是一個人吞噬著自己的能耐
到最後我可以不愛了你卻說捨不得

現在是三點鐘你應該還沒醒呢
這有點刺眼的光線會不會打擾你呢
夢不會實現了我應該要醒了
我不該只懂得配合你習慣短暫的溫熱

我努力要自己避開和你曾走過的地帶
但是又和不捨拉扯處在我快樂的界外
我何嘗不是一個人來決定愛的延長賽
奈何總是勉強對自己有一個善良的交代

我努力要自己躲開你給我的傷心地帶
但是又和失去拉扯得到的全都是意外
到現在還是一個人吞噬著自己的能耐
到最後我可以不愛了你卻說捨不得

離開你卻走還留的眼睛我要我忍住再一次擁抱你
躲開你轉身以後的消息這一次我可以

我努力要自己避開和你曾走過的地帶
但是又和不捨拉扯處在我快樂的界外
我努力要自己躲開你給我的傷心地帶
但是又和失去拉扯得到的全都是意外
到現在還是一個人吞噬著自己的能耐
到最後我可以不愛了你卻說捨不得

你可以不愛了別說捨不得

总有一天会离开

2009-01-18T11:50:00.002+08:00

被你的一句：“总有一天会离开”弄得害怕。就在三天后凌晨的两点半，我突然想起你说的那一翻话。我的心里又起疙瘩。我们之间的关系还是兄弟吗？为什么结拜的兄弟，对你来说似乎只是普通关系？为什么右手的大母指有一天会变得没有价值。我伤心的不象话，却尽量若无其事送他。他却永远都不知道说出的那句话伤的是我还是他。星期五的约定就在那一夜成了泡影，其实我应该早些清醒，对于你当时的提议看成童话的结局。只不过我永远都在沉迷，而你永远都那么清醒。

You dont Know Me - Michael Bolton

冷春风

2009-01-15T20:56:00.000+08:00

今年的春风吹得比往年猛。它寒得比冬天还要冬天。怪异得把原本要温暖的大地吹得打哆嗦。原本平静的湖畔也刮得起波浪。这股春风让我的春天变得像寒冬。春天是否依旧？冬天过了没有？是否是春天不至，而冬天依旧？

chun qu chun you hui 春去春又回 - kelly poon 潘嘉丽

许家的丈夫，没一个好东西。

2009-01-13T17:02:00.000+08:00

许家的丈夫，没一个好东西。
许家的丈夫真的没有一个是个好东西。从我爷爷的儿子那一辈开始就到达了这个传统的巅峰。就拿爷爷的大儿子来说好了。爷爷的大儿子虽然是爷爷的大儿子，但结婚生子后，性格脾气和一个十七八岁的小娃儿没什么不同。他天真地认为他已做到了男主外女主内的道理。认为自己是一家之主，为家里挣钱，所以在家里最大。她在家里极少作家是，吃饱饭后把饭碗丢在水槽里等效一个吃饱的人来洗。他常常命令他人打理家务，但推托说自己工作忙，没有办法做家务，再来加上自己是一家之主，更本没有必要做这些家务。他习惯下班后脱下袜子就往客厅地上扔，等待妻子隔天早上起身时帮他拿去洗。当妻子因为忙于家务没法准备晚饭时，这时候丈夫可以顺便再往工作的路上帮妻子买一包饭，不过身为丈夫的他却埋怨不休，非要在学校的儿子赶回家为母亲买晚餐。（身为丈夫的他还真的很疼爱老婆）真是个顾家的好男人！
说来，许家的大儿子不止是唯一一个虚假的娃儿。许家的大儿子的另一个兄弟也是如此（在此不方便透露到底是哪个兄弟）。这位兄弟虽然也为人父，但听说他不是一个称职的好父亲也不是个称职的好丈夫。他常常忽略家人的基本需求，对于妻子的内心的情感也常常不理。这样的丈夫，真的有丈夫不如无丈夫。
或许许家的丈夫也不是所有都是坏的。就拿许家的、III子来说好了，他非常疼老婆，只要老婆说一，他不敢说二，简直是个不折不扣的老婆奴。他疼老婆的地步不仅限于此，听说老婆爱献，好大喜功，但买不起车子，结果夫妻俩就一起向父亲游说，就这样，他们就不费吹灰之力得到了一辆崭新的免费车子。你说这样的丈夫，谁不要？

中文系？通讯传媒系？

2009-01-02T21:50:00.002+08:00

兜兜转转了这么多年，今天是2009年的第二天，我还是没有想好到底要主修什么。到底应该坚持修读中文系？还是转换跑到改读通讯传媒系？如果坚持修读中文我就无需多读一个科目，但过去3个学期修读中文系的科目时，我都没有快乐过，如果硬是要坚持修读中文系，不知道我接下来的3个学期是否能快乐起来？如果转读通讯传媒的话，这个学期就一定得多读一科科目，这么一来这个学期的负担一定会加重。再加上修读通讯传媒最好就是要修读传媒书写，但这科修读起来实在不易，稍有不慎定会万劫不复，但不修读的话以后的前途却没那么光明。这真是像曹操所说的鸡肋一样。
其实我也想过其他的办法，是否能同时主修着两个科系那么我就无需烦恼如何选择。不过可惜的是，主修两个科系并不容易，我的成绩必须达到3.5，而现在的成绩离3.5还有一段距离。真希望有一个两全其美的办法。

中文系？通讯传媒系？

2009-01-02T21:50:00.000+08:00

2009年的第一部电影

2009-01-01T23:36:00.002+08:00

一月一号下着雨，我们分开。你很像有心事有口不言，我很像没有察觉，望着前面。宁静的气息让我听到下雨的声音，让我意识到2009的到来。这是我们今年的第一部电影，也或许是我们今年的最后一部电影。我微笑的跟你道别，模糊的话说了一句再见。

祝你幸福2009

2009-01-01T00:27:00.001+08:00

年末一天，相约床前。双眸未睁，安稳入眠。意恐惊醒梦中人，床前闹钟亦催眠。躺在床上想入睡，却恐梦醒空入眼。早晨九点，你睁开眼，别离即至却无察觉。这次早饭无缘，疑是相约伊人用早点。原是不干愿，说是不约却相约。几经思量，明白幸福的无上，相信让你得到幸福是我最大的愿望。放下对你的不满，诚心祝福你在新的一年能够找到幸福的原点。

zhu wo xing fu - yang nai wen

醉梦 131208

2008-12-14T01:02:00.003+08:00

本来想把这首词写完。却发现自己深入词中，无法自拔，有心人可试试继续填写:

不别离却更伤，相见不易，离别更难。

愁酒两三杯，哭泣不成泪。

相思苦得不入睡。

醉梦回忆填相思，却怨回忆非现实。

Too Much, Too Little, Too Late - Johnny Mathis & Deneice Williams

雨点

2008-12-14T00:44:00.001+08:00

雨点滴滴犹相思，滴到瓦檐似心碎。

易得雨过晴朗天，难得相约在此时。

不见相见亦何别，望传秋水泪两边。

待得下个相约日，兄弟情深笑满面。

坚强与柔弱

2008-11-06T18:55:00.001+08:00

有时候觉得自己很悲哀，生长的环境不只是好是坏。
生长的环境像是决定性格的基因，坚强或软弱无法自己去证明。
但人生的旅途靠胜负来决定，而输赢的关键还是性格的优劣：强者为优，弱者为劣。坚强勇敢的野草无论风吹雨打都不倒娇嫩柔弱的小花就连长住温室也会枯萎死掉

坚强与柔弱

2008-11-06T18:41:00.001+08:00

有时候觉得自己很悲哀，生长的环境不只是好是坏。
生长的环境像是决定性格的基因，坚强或软弱无法自己去证明。
但人生的旅途靠胜负来决定，而输赢的关键还是性格的优劣：强者为优，弱者为劣。

坚强勇敢的野草无论风吹雨打都不倒，娇嫩柔弱的小花就连长住温室也会枯萎死掉

给爷爷的诗

2008-11-06T18:38:00.000+08:00

没有想到自己也会用楚辞来作诗，还能把诗作得那么押韵。就连我自己也佩服我自己。就在爷爷的八十岁大寿上，我做了这首诗献给爷爷，有人能看出诗中的含义吗？
今夕庆生八十年，兰芷萧艾布满间。
宓妃佚女勤祝寿，其愿即可表日月。
飘风云霓不落后，吾代他人表心愿。
祝您长命又百岁，并且健康亿万年。

悲叹雨露由来一点恩，却非滴到我家门

2008-10-21T20:32:00.003+08:00

星期二的下午收到你的简讯，简讯里的内容听来非常高兴。谢谢你的用心，玩具小猪已经找到头绪。你犹如打了胜仗凯旋而归的那么高兴，我犹如兵败亡国般情绪消极。付出的努力像李清照的命运，只能说句“风住沉香花已尽”。不是执着与付出的多少也不是执著于回报，只是风吹柳梢，却非梢梢吹得到，悲叹雨露由来一点恩，却非滴到我家门。
teng sha ren - carrie

手机的无理取闹

2008-10-19T23:50:00.000+08:00

十月十九号，我完成我的十五公里跑。就在晚上九点多钟的不知那一秒，你寄来了慰问简讯，问我今天跑得好不好？以我一贯的作风，我坦白的告诉你我今天坐得多么的糟。
原来你好没放弃我，告诉我其实我并不是那么糟，1小时29秒其实已经难得的不得了。你还问我今天的人多不多跑到是不是很糟糕？
就在这时候手机选择无理取闹，不听我的使唤，打出乱码的讯号，我只好竭尽所能，以最少的字，打出最简明的讯号。
不知道为什么，那封简讯似乎断了我们的通讯，就在那封简讯之后，我失去了你的音讯。我开始一再翻开你最后的简讯，希望你能够有所回应，可是手机却很静，我完全失去了你的踪影。
我坐在房间里开始埋怨自己的手机，好坏不坏，就喜欢再错的时候乱出毛病。
十月二十号即将来临，我独坐房间打着这封寄不出的信。多么希望你能有所感应，让我知道你还在关心，只是太忙太累结果忘了回讯关心。
哪怕是一个笑脸，一个没有字的简讯，我也甘之如饴。

痛

2008-10-09T00:37:00.001+08:00

心很痛，找不到一个可以让我翘课的理由。我还是错过了我所拥有。这是命运安排的结果。种下的什么因，得到什么果。我又开始后悔早前犯下的错。
凌晨的问候，让我心跳加速不知所措。明日早晨相约泳池中，若有上课，无需回讯。明日课程，早晨10点起。安排好的约会，像泡沫一般消失得无影无踪。

堕落天使录

2008-10-03T00:39:00.000+08:00

突然间觉得自己变了个样，清规戒律守得不象个和尚。不知是对自己失去了信心，还是对他人失去了耐性。竟然放弃了原本的自己。舍弃天使之路是否有所轨迹，还是用他人作为骗人的原因？我是否真的放弃？我也正在问我自己。
走在魔鬼道路上的天使，回头望了望。可能走在这条大道，并非天使所要。一切只因堕落的个性和心碎的悲伤，促使天使舍弃了翅膀，投身于恶魔的大道上。天使的悔悟常常缠绕，却也显得潦倒。它的出现只在天使遇到魔鬼强盗，而它的消失却往往让天使觉得困扰。不如魔道的天使还在寻找，是否还有什么能让他放弃虚幻的城堡，插上翅膀飞奔九霄。

屈原复生 280908

2008-09-28T23:44:00.000+08:00

原来星期天的情绪也能那么差。延续着星期六的坏脾气，一直都无法跨越自己的无厘头坏脾气。对于很多想不通的事情，仍是想不通。对于很多的疑惑和怀疑，也只能变成不满和伤心。缺乏睡眠的我，让缺乏耐性的耐性更没了耐性。中午的午觉并没有让我更清醒，它只是赔偿亏欠的一种形式。
星期天的晚上，我还在无厘头的吭书，头还很痛，心还很重。很像被讲义里的“屈原”复生，开始用文字写下悲愤。虽然没有《离骚》动人，但也是真挚情深。

凌晨的冷水澡

2008-09-28T01:58:00.000+08:00

在凌晨1点钟洗了个冷水澡，没有想到冷水澡的滋味那么独特。冷水澡似乎把错乱的我冲醒，让我回到平常的冷静。下午的不安、焦虑、疑惑等在冷水冲下来的一霎那消失得无影无踪。在那时候，我以为我真的解脱了，毕竟那种情形的感觉是我毕生没有尝过的。但可能是冷水太冷了，谁着不安、焦虑、疑惑的消失，随之而来的是我竟的孤独感，发现自己一个人在冲凉，而冷水的寒气正在侵蚀我的灵魂。
冷意随着抹干的身体逐渐消失，不安、焦虑、疑惑也随着冷意的消失像雨后春笋般缠绕我的身体。无助的孤独感没有随着逝去的冷意而消失，它仍然侵蚀着我的灵魂。
原来在这一刻，我是悲哀的。。。

很想让自己放个长假

2008-09-14T00:11:00.000+08:00

很想让自己放个长假。
漫步在自由云端，聆听狂笑的海洋。
披着厚重的大衣，感受两人的温暖。
很想让自己放个长假。
远离城市的喧哗，体会内心的浪漫。
赤裸裸的躺在沙滩，感受阳光的温暖。
很想让自己放个长假。
逃离现实的包袱，沉浸于自由的奔放。
敢爱敢恨地活一场，享受幸福的温暖。

醒来睡意

2008-09-08T21:46:00.003+08:00

把这首歌献给所有了变心的人，献给过去，献给从来都没有变心过的人，由或者献给摇醒沉睡在美梦中的傻瓜的聪明人。
发现自己很爱睡觉，就算一早上床也能睡到日上三竿，而且醒来后睡意仍然不减。这并不可怕，相信每个人都有这种赖床的习惯，最可怕的应该算是起床后刷了牙，我还能够回到睡床上继续还没做完的美梦。就算是在外头我也无时无刻向着睡觉，坐着大公车、站着大地铁、上厕所，甚至吃饭我也能睡觉。夸张吧？还有人能做到像我如此出神入化吗？

Cold Silence - 深白色二人组

我们又陷入这样的僵局

沉默的呼吸冷冷的空气

闻不到一点妥协的气息

是任性我没有勇气

纵然有眼泪流过的痕迹

也只是换来冷漠的表情

想起曾说过要一起守护的爱情

讽刺的情绪

我的心变了

你不闻不问

我只能静静听着彼此呼吸声

你的爱变了

我不能不问

像石头掉进水里没有回声

this cold cold silence

你始终变化莫测的情绪

我始终没学会如何释义

想要你看看晴朗的天空

才回头已是暴风雨

当初想象的未来的风景

并没有提到这样的剧情

被一起猜着冷冷的凄清

我开始失去憧憬

我的心变了

你不闻不问

我只能静静听着彼此呼吸声

你的爱变了

我不能不问

像石头掉进水里没有回声

this cold cold silence

深白色-Cold Silence专辑-花火

我的心变了

你不闻不问

我只能静静听着彼此呼吸声

你的爱变了

我不能过问

像石头掉进水里却没有回声

我的心变了

你不闻不问

我只能静静听着彼此呼吸声

你的爱变了

我不能过问

像石头掉进水里却没有回声

this cold cold silence

无题

2008-09-01T00:46:00.001+08:00

微笑来掩饰烦恼，沉默为了进一步思考。
我们是否忘了对方的好？
还是把时间当作麻醉药？
需要温暖却找不到人拥抱，因为回避是暂时的解药。
相传我们曾经很好，但如今你还记得多少？
花已经凋落，雨已经停息，但我仍然无法忘怀春天繁花绽放的盛景。

早点安排

2008-08-16T00:12:00.000+08:00

凌晨12点，写着自己的悲哀。风停了下来，云散到天外。是上天的玩笑还是缘分的安排？虽然想相见，却从来不敢安排。就在这时候，你的一通电话就这么打了过来，而我却从来都没意识到你竟然会用电话和我通电做晚餐的安排。但谁又会想到时间的紧迫，让你我感到无奈。现在是凌晨12点，但我仍觉悲哀，失落的感觉让我恨不得早点安排！望着窗外，你也不在，我只有一个人苦苦发呆。

黑暗新世界

2008-08-05T23:56:00.007+08:00

收获必须有所代价，人生必定有所艰难。
看似繁华美丽的世界，收藏更黑暗的悬念。
想不被人欺骗，只好聪明一点。
相信甜言蜜语，终究成为他人桌上的糖果布丁。
认清自我实力，不可低估更不能妄想成名。
贬低自己只会埋没，在学士前变得寂寞，让人觉得你好落魄。
高估自己却能让你走火入魔，在伪人面前不知所措，结果被人抹成了粉末，吃进了肚子还跟他说“阿里嘎多”。
————————————————————————————————————————
这是一个黑暗的世界，想不被吃就离人远一点。
这是一个黑暗的世界，野狗豺狼也能变成神仙下凡。
这是一个黑暗的世界，所有的真心诚意到头只是花言巧语。
看似美丽的世界，收藏的却只是黑暗的悬念。

Youll Never Get To Heaven (If You Break My Heart) - The Stylistic

继7月19日之。。。

2008-07-20T23:10:00.000+08:00

风住沉香花已尽，日晚倦梳头。
物是人非事事休，欲语泪先流。
闻说双溪春尚好，也拟泛轻舟。
只恐双溪者舴艋舟，载不动许多愁。

记7月19日（悲）

2008-07-20T01:04:00.001+08:00

今午风雨飘落，人泪洒心头。
相聚无言，并非欲语泪流。
昔日微笑依旧，但感情已旧。
雨已停骤，满地仍湿透。
知否，知否，以非雨留是泪流。

我不想做快餐族

2008-07-09T22:54:00.001+08:00

总是觉得自己活在错的时代。身处在快餐时代，不管人、事、物都很“快餐性”。在工作上，上司通常会希望下属能够尽快完成计划，重来没有一个上司会要求下属慢条斯理的完成任务。人们的耐性也变得很“快餐化”，对于自己或他人的耐性越来越短，没有办法好好坐下来心平气和的谈天，耐性子是一个计时炸弹，每一分每一秒都在倒数，随时随地都可能即将引爆。最可悲的是连人与人之间的感情也变得很“快餐化”，如果两个原本是朋友的人失去了时常相见的机会，只要过了几天好朋友也可能变成陌路人。爱情随着时代的变化也失去了它不变的永恒，人们身边的伴侣换得比衣服还要快，几天是小明，明天是小黄，后天可能是小白或小黑。今天新闻刚报道道，平均每天有20对夫妻离婚。爱情变得像旋风，来得快去得快，留下的只是你我心中的残垣断壁。
到底是谁的错？是否改为这个悲剧造出一个罪魁祸首，还是一个带罪羔羊？
有一半的我是个古代人。我不喜欢这种快餐化，不喜欢那种“我现在就要！”的号令，也不喜欢有计时炸弹在我身边围绕，厌倦生命的过客，更憎恨那无名旋风所留下残垣断壁。另一半的我却是个真真实实的现代人，这个后天培养出来的现代人，既是一颗计时炸弹，也是别人生命中的过客，也或许在他人内心大肆的侵略。生活在这个乱世有太多的无可奈何。一个时代的感染力就犹如沙漠中的流沙，越是挣扎越是陷得越深，到最后只能无法自拔，淹没在流沙当中。我悲哀，悲哀工作上有太多的紧急任务、悲哀学业上有太多的“你一定要立即学会”、悲哀耐性的萎缩、也悲哀成为别人生命中的陌路人或让别人成为自己生命中的陌路人。快餐旋风对我来说不只是残垣断瓦，用哀鸿遍野来形容或许更为贴切。

上天开的一个玩笑

2008-06-28T23:05:00.003+08:00

仔细地去观察。很多事情不是单单一个“对”或“错”就可以断定的。很多时候，一些我们认为队的情况或处方，以另一个人的角度来想就大相径庭了。医生为了救济病患，有时在危急的情况下把病患的身体的某些部位截肢，对医生来说这就是救济病患的最好办法，但对于病患来说身体的截肢或许比失去生命来得更严重。在餐馆吃饭过后要结帐，侍应生拿了一张错的账单来。结果客户还了更便宜的价钱。对客户来说不疑是赚大了，但对于餐馆、侍应生和收银员来说明显的是倒霉的一天。
这里想说的是一件事又或者说每一件事都有它的好坏。比较重要的是以什么心态、什么角度来面对。人生中常常面对上苍个我们开的一个玩笑，是否要一笑置之还是要恼羞成怒，都是一种决定。

I started a joke - Vonda Shepard

失望

2008-06-25T23:06:00.000+08:00

今天难得下班后有机会到附近的游泳池游泳。下午六点的游泳池原本是安静的像一片宁静的湖水。几天没游泳的我，以为还能像往常一样，游个28圈，没想到结果是如此的大失所望。
女王镇的游泳池设计与其它游泳池不同。除了凹进去的游泳池外，它的周围还筑起了一道墙，而且两头的深度也有所不同。但这些问题都不应该成为我失败的戴罪羔羊。
没想到今天游不到两圈我就气喘吁吁。这还不打紧，最糟的是，在回转的那一刻，我布置没有办法踢好，还把脚趾弄伤，流血不止。
其实这次的经验告诉了我很多事情。最明显的，我的训练还不够，一旦稍有松懈就会打回原形。其二，我没有办法适应任何环境，只要环境一变我的耐力也随之减退。其三，我没有认清环境，竟然可以把自己弄伤。
我很想把一切该搞好的搞好。把耐力练回来，把适应力加强，让自己更懂得保护自己。不论是游泳还是人生我都需要保持这种心态。

忏悔三录

2008-06-21T00:47:00.000+08:00

写了这么多的忏悔录，自己也开始怀疑自己的真心诚意。我猜想我内心就是一个犯罪者，只有犯罪能让我活下来。
可能我就是有天赋的犯罪欲望，犯了一次又一次的错，对自己的过失回国又再悔过，结果犯错又再犯错。
发现自己与众不同的一点就是犯了错，安慰了自己，情绪平复之后，让后又再犯错。让我更惊讶的是人在堕落，消极的时候，对于自我的把持也会随着削减。我不想多说什么让我堕落，消极，也不想说自己犯下什么滔天大祸，更不想把责任推卸给其他人，就算他人有那一丝过错我也不想归罪于他人。
我只想说我累了。我期盼援助，也期盼原谅。园丁假如每天施肥浇水，但看到的是顽固的豆苗藏匿在土壤中，终有一天也会失去信心，更何况是一个懦弱胆小的人。我或许需要信心，但我更需要被认可。我或许需要援救，但我更需要被原谅。我或许真的应该放弃但我人希望有人能坚持到底。

梦很幸福

2008-06-17T00:56:00.001+08:00

昨天晚上做了一个很奇怪又浪漫的梦。奇怪的是我从来都没有做过类似的梦，浪漫的是这个梦甜蜜得很不真实。
梦里我和情人到了一家还蛮豪华的餐厅，对于餐厅的布置和细节我已经不太记得了，但印象很深刻的是大厅的布置是豪华的。梦里，情人和我正穿过大厅，情人的步伐与我相同，但却略落后我一些。
就在那不经意的时刻，情人忽然牵住了我的手，肩并肩，手牵手的走着。这种感觉很浪漫，很甜蜜，我好像在那一瞬间成为了世界上最幸福的人。我还可以记得清人牵着我的手不是一两秒的事，我们的手牵了好久好久。虽然牵得久，但我也不觉得累，只是有一种想永远走下去的感觉。
就在这时候，前面走来了几个人，再过一会儿，路过的人越来越多。我感觉到情人的不安，请人突然间猛地把手抽开，让后向前奔驰，似乎是想躲开世俗的眼光。
虽然有些惊讶又有些不知所措，但不知怎的，我竟然追了上去。终于追上了情人！我赶紧牵住情人的手不让清然再有机会逃脱。情人的样子原本有些抗拒又有些尴尬，但看到了我的表情他的表情也种愁云惨雾转为雨过天晴。我的梦也就在那么温馨的气氛下结束。
其实，多么希望它不是一场梦。我多么希望这一切都是真实的。我多么希望我的情人会主动向我表白，我也希望我能勇敢一点追求自己的幸福。虽然很难过自己的懦弱与无能，但想到梦里的情节还是觉得甜滋滋的。假如梦想真的变成事实，我相信我会是最幸福的人，这种幸福将会陪伴我一辈子。
空窗期的今天，寂寞的人姑且为幸福留下一丝曙光。只盼幸福能及时降临。。。

期盼原谅

2008-06-15T03:08:00.000+08:00

在你发火的那天我就开始后悔
一切只因自己什么都不懂
一直以为对你很了解
但其实我什么都不懂
一直以为我在雪中送炭
可是自己又怎么会想到是一种负担
只因为我什么都不懂
期盼得到你的原谅
就在见面的那一天
可是愿望没有实现
热情的表现只在别人的眼里浮现
冷弱的心有些脆弱
只因为我真的不懂

忏悔二录

2008-06-10T01:51:00.000+08:00

在陈述关于忏悔的一些论点之前，我必须很坦白的承认自己的错误。是的！在短短一个月里头，我不只犯了一次的错误，而是重蹈复测，一错再错。我在这里用万分忏悔的心向受这次“灾难”影响的人致歉。我知道犯下这一切错误是不可饶恕的，它就象男人家里有妻子还在外头偷情一样糟糕。单单写下一篇《忏悔二录》不足以教人原谅一个犯下滔天大罪的罪犯。但罪犯在此希望所有受害者能够原谅它，假如苍天也能感应到我的诚心，请再次原谅一个没有自我控制意识的罪犯的过失。
首先我必须澄清，之前谈道犯错的人应该在知道犯下错误的当儿急时亡羊补牢，而不是错误继续错下去，更不应该重蹈复测，一错再错，这个概念不是每个人都做得到，更正确的说做得到的人寥若星辰，可以说是寥寥无几。很多人犯了一次的错误还是仍然跳入同样的陷阱，我们可以看到穷困人家中了大彩享受了几个月的荣华富贵结果还是回到了穷困潦倒的生活，我们与可以看到有妇之夫在外头偷情被妻子抓到了，过了几个月时过境迁多情的丈夫又到外头为花朵浇水施肥，我们也可以看到玩股票的人少到了一次手，以为得到了教训，结果在下一次的投资还是烧得遍体鳞伤。
我想说的是，很多时候人们会一错再错并不是因为没有意识到我们做错了路。出轨的丈夫不是没有意识到自己对气质的背叛、穷困人家不是没有意识到金钱的重要性、投资股票的人不适应为钱太多才故意炒输股票。这些人（包括我在内）都明白他们自己正在犯下同样的错误，问题就出在当问题已经变成一种习惯，一种伴随这些人长久的坏习惯，要他们改掉并不是一朝一夕的事，要彻底根除恶习还需要长年累月的磨练。
我并不是在为自己的过失辩护，我只是想说，我也不是圣人。一些我所犯的错正是一些根深蒂固的坏习惯。在斩草除根的当儿难免还是回被拉入泥沼中，假如有人能伸出援手救济的话当然能事半功倍，但很多时候我们都得独自面临自己的问题，因此假如能够的话我正的希望也正在能力将心魔毁灭。也在此祈祷面临同样问题的人能够造人得到解脱。

一个星期的香水

2008-06-02T15:26:00.002+08:00

一个星期的工作终于结束。卖香水的生活真的事又有趣又辛苦。5月26日开始了我卖香水的工作。原本心情低落的我不知道是否能控制自己的情绪完成这7天的使命，毕竟行销是一门无时无刻微笑的行业，就算心情多么糟糕也得装做若无其事。但是工作真的可以麻痹一个人的情绪和感情。在职场上，面对陌生的顾客，面对面生的同事，不自然的微笑已经变成最方便的情绪“遮瑕膏”。慢慢的这种“遮瑕膏”就渐渐的麻痹你的情绪，把你的瑕疵遮盖得完美无瑕就连你自己也无法察觉那块伤口的位置。就这样我懵懵懂懂的过了一个星期。
在工作的时候发现了一个非常有趣的现象，很多同事在试用香水的时候都会试用每一种不一样的香水。我却习惯只用某个气味的香水而且一连7天都忠于那种香水。这种现象假如反映在感情生活中是否代表前者是个多情种而后者则是对爱钟情呢？我也不知道，但我觉得这个现象很有趣，或许纯粹只是熟手跟新手的差别吧。。。
说实话，这个星期没有白过，从金钱的角度来看它填补了我的户口，从学习的角度看它我明白行销这门行业，从情绪的角度看它至少冻结了我一个星期的不愉快也让我认识多一些快乐的人。因该对这一切感到非常感谢，冥冥中老天只有安排。

经意与不经意的伤害

2008-05-24T01:51:00.000+08:00

有没有想过伤害也分为很多种？在人生旅程中我们或多或少伤害到别人或者被别人伤害。在这样的伤害过程中，可以确定的是一定有一方会受伤而不一定有任何一方会获益。奇怪吗？我觉得很奇怪。那为什么人们还要互相伤害？我也很想知道。。。
我想把伤害分为两种。第一种是经意的伤害，第二种是不经意的伤害。
第一种伤害就是坦荡荡的在受害者面前对他造成某种伤害。这种伤害是刻意的，它就像是某个人拿着一把刀，有所准备的向目标迈进，一片一片，血淋淋的把受害者最重要的东西割下。执行者或凶手在过程中大多都是清醒的，因为他们是有目的一步步接近目标，对目标施与毒手。受害者在这种情况下就算是铜墙铁壁势必也会有些凹凸不平。
第二种伤害同样也是坦荡荡的在受害者面前对他拨皮剥骨。不同于前者的是，这种不仁的行为不一定是执行者有心那么做的。这种行为就像某个人拿着一把刀，在自己不经意的情况下对受害者划了一刀，最糟的是执行者连自己手上拿着一把刀也不知更不用说意识到伤害了他人。受害者呢？他又会怎么样？事实上受害者在这种情况下所受到的伤害比第一种来得更深，而这种伤痛也会跟着执行者的亲密度而随之加深。
试想想，假如故意用一根针刺自己，以及不小心别针刺刀，哪个会比较痛？答案应该很明显，后者当让会比前者痛。前者在有意识的情况下被刺伤，多少也会有一些心理准备，所以有办法把伤痛感降到最低，就像串着盔甲上战场的战士，不受伤的几率减到最低。相对的后者则是在毫无准备的情况下刺伤，就像战士一丝不挂、赤裸裸的上战场，在刀光剑影下势必血流成河。
其实我们在日常的沟通中都可能伤害到他人。在与他人对话时我们可能对对方有所反感，因此话中带刺想让对方知难而退。有时候则是过于坦白，坦白得一针见血也浑然不知。
无论是哪种伤害法，都是不仁的。有人说受伤才会长大，没有跌到过就不会站起来。但没有人想过，无论哪种伤害方式，都可能会对他人造成无法磨灭的伤害。伤口太深导致流血过多可能会造成死亡，跌得太重也可能会终生瘫痪。那么简单的道理又有几个人明白？

承诺论

2008-05-21T01:38:00.002+08:00

承诺是什么？我问自己，其实我也搞不懂。原来看似简单的的两个字并不像我们想象中的如此简单。我想把给予承诺的人分为以下几种：
第一种给予承诺的人，只会随口给予他人承诺。他们不管承诺的大小，他们在乎的事是否能在当下夸下海口，让闻者惊叹他的气魄与实力。但这种惊叹也只是短暂性的，一旦承诺无法兑现，闻者的惊叹也会跟着烟消云散。严格上来说这种承诺不应该叫承诺，因为它就像没能兑现的支票，根本没有意义可言。
第二种给予承诺的人，只要金口一开。就在你眨眼的那一刻，他已经付诸承诺，实现了眨眼之前所许下的的诺言。不管承诺的大小轻重，只要说到，就一定做到。世上能有如此气魄的人大概寥寥无几，相信现在不多，未来一定更少。（好悲哀）
第三种给予承诺的人，只要许下承诺，也势必完成指定的要求，虽然时间上可能无法立刻实现，也甚至能拖上几年时间。但事实上他没有一刻不想着那份约定，迟到的兑现只为了更确保承诺能准确无误地实现，就像童话般的完美。严格上来说，第二种任何第三种人是没有不同的，他们都把承诺当作神圣的约定。不轻易许下承诺是他们的特征，许下承诺之后，就算是天上的月亮，他都会摘下来送你。
其实我们都在分饰这三种角色。大概没有人是严格的第一种、第二种、或第三种类型。我们都在不同人面前扮演不一样的角色，对于在我们心里地位不高的人，当我们需要向他们许下承诺时，我们就是以上提到的第一类人。对于在我们心里有某种地位的人，或是责任心强的人，他们往往扮演的角色就是死而类型。如果生命中遇到第三类型的人，相信我们一生大概也没有什么好遗憾的了。因为假如人生中有某一个人在你生命中扮演第三类人，相信你在他心中的地位可以用光年来计算吧。在漫漫人生中，要遇到第一类人简直绰绰有余，要遇到第二类人简直寥寥无几，要遇到第三类人更是难如登天。

BuddyShip

2008-05-19T01:41:00.000+08:00

As mention previously about the show I am watching currently, “friends”. I have to say it’s really a nice comedy, not only is it humorous but also very touching. I started searching for clips on youtube on “friends”, and I accidentally found this clip. The background music is “All by Myself” by Eric Carmen and the whole clip is about the friendship (or I prefer to call it the Buddyship) between Joey and Chandler.
It surprises me how 2 person of the same sex who were complete strangers to each other can become so close, so close that become real buddies, sometime more than brothers, supporting each other when in need. Just like what Chandler always did for Joey when he needs help in life and just like what Joey did when Chandler needs to hide his relationship with Monica from the rest of the gang.
Sometimes I really wonder is it possible to find such buddyship? Can this just happen in a comedy that will never occur in real life? Or it does exist just that I have not seen it or experience it myself or even simply refusing to acknowledge the fact that it exist due to my unsatisfying natural?
I really can’t give myself an answer, but at least at this moment, I just want to remember the buddyship between them, the bond that changes the life of 2 complete strangers.

An Old Song

2008-05-18T11:16:00.002+08:00

It’s kind of ridiculous listening to a song that was about 3 years ago and yet have a liking for it so much. I can still remember listening to this song 3 years ago, there wasn’t any special deep feelings about this song except that it was a nice song. Never did I expect myself to listen to this song again after 3 years. I guess. It was all because of the lyrics of the song, it just feel exactly like what I am going through now.

I didn't mean it when I said I didn't love you so

I should have held on tight I never shoulda let you go

I didn't know nothing I was stupid, I was foolish

I was lying to myself

I could not fathom that I would ever be without your love

Never imagined I'd be sitting here beside myself

'Cause I didn't know you, 'cause I didn't know me

But I thought I knew everything

I never felt

The feeling that I'm feeling now that I don't hear your voice

Or have your touch and kiss your lips 'cause I don't have a choice

Oh, what I wouldn't give to have you lying by my side

Right here, 'cause baby

(We belong together)

When you left I lost a part of me

It's still so hard to believe

Come back baby, please

'Cause we belong together

Who else am I gon' lean on when times get rough

Who's gonna talk to me on the phone 'till the sun comes up

Who's gonna take your place there ain't nobody better

Oh, baby baby, we belong together

I can't sleep at night when you are on my mind

Bobby Womack's on the radio saying to me:

"If you think you're lonely now"

Wait a minute this is too deep (too deep)

I gotta change the station so I turn the dial

Trying to catch a break and then I hear Babyface

I only think of you and it's breaking my heart

I'm trying to keep it together but I'm falling apart

I'm feeling all out of my element

I'm throwing things, crying

Trying to figure out where the hell I went wrong

The pain reflected in this song it ain't even half of what I'm feeling inside

I need you, need you back in my life, baby

(We belong together)

When you left I lost a part of me

It's still so hard to believe

Come back baby, please 'Cause we belong together

Who else am I gon' lean on when times get rough

Who's gonna talk to me on the phone 'til the sun comes up

Who's gonna take your place there ain't nobody better

Oh, baby baby, we belong together, baby!

When you left I lost a part of me

It's still so hard to believe

Come back baby, please 'Cause we belong together

Who I'm gonna lean on when times get rough

Who's gonna talk to me 'til the sun comes up

Who's gonna take your place there ain't nobody better

Oh, baby baby, we belong together

好事坏事？

2008-05-17T21:18:00.001+08:00

有时候对于人生中所发生在自己身上的事情总有太多的感触，无论是好事还是坏事都会在我心中留下深刻印象。对于发生在自己身上的坏事总是无法释怀，心里总是觉得耿耿于怀。对于发生在自己身上的好事则让我觉得甜蜜无比，体会到幸福的真正滋味。
在开始学会写作的时候就有一种迷信的想法。一直都认为不因该把发生在自己身上的坏事写下来，因为把坏事写下人生会变得更糟，身边的人也有机会得知自己的不如意，而发生在自己身上的好事更是得守“笔”如瓶，因为只要好事一泄露，坏事也就会接踵而来。而这种迷信的想法一直跟随着我，直到在部落格写作之前，我都无法把自己生命中的千言万语公诸于世。
在开始写部落格时，不知怎的经把守了二十多年的规矩抛到九霄云外，肆无忌惮的把人生的起伏挥洒于电脑键盘上。可能是开始写部落格时，发生在身上的好事太多了，幸福的滋味太过甜蜜，甜蜜得连自己都忘了自己该守的规矩，用文字记录每一丝可以让我觉得幸福的回忆。
近来的低潮期开始让我觉得害怕，是不是写下了太多关于自己的事情的后遗症？还是纯粹只是人生中的一种规律？不希望这样的迷信思想继续纠缠，更不希望停留在人生情绪低潮期。如果人的心情可以上而不需下，那该多好。

反主为客

2008-05-16T11:36:00.001+08:00

近来在家里发生的事情让我有种“反主为客”、“鸠占鹊巢”的感觉。
远方的亲戚到寒舍投宿，想在本地大展拳脚本该是高兴之事。但由于习惯上的不同，加上极少往来的缘故，让我不禁有种不知如何与他共同的感觉。有时候，生活上的差异，习惯上的不同真的让人在生活中觉得很不自在。在家上是极少往来的亲戚，更是让情况变得雪上加霜，不知道可以谈些什么。
但这些都不是让我有那种“反主为客”、“鸠占鹊巢”的感觉。问题的起点大概就是这样，一清早的起身，看到的是远方亲戚与父母三人同桌吃早餐。这其实不打紧，因为是我太懒无法早起身，所以让他们有机会三人同桌，勾勒出温馨小家庭的图画。剧情的高潮因该就是在这个时候发生的，父亲翻着报纸与远方亲戚大谈四川地震惨案，远方亲戚还同时向母亲解释空降援救的意思。不知道怎么的，空气中的水分尽然酿成了硫酸雨，让我觉得酸溜溜的。事实上，父亲不是没有和我大谈政治过，只是每次和父亲谈论政治不到三句就没了，真是有点扫兴，加上远方亲戚和父亲谈论的时候感觉上温馨多了，而我和父亲谈论的时候却是三缄其口，擦不出火花。
感觉上远方亲戚到像极了他们的孩子，而我倒是像极了从远方过来投宿的某个不知名亲戚，在心灵上别冷落与一旁。说些公道话，我一向不善沟通加上不会撒娇，自然不受瞩目，在这场无形的家庭纠纷中必定占下风。落得今日的下场怪不得别人，怪不了父母，怪不了亲戚，也只能怪自己。

悔过书

2008-05-16T00:58:00.000+08:00

人偶尔犯错，不知道算是对还是错？我们往往常常悔过自己犯下的过错，但我们真正的悔过了吗？我真的很怀疑。。。
大概是自己犯错的经验太多，再加上重犯的几率更高，所以对于人类悔过的心态特别有感触。一直以为自己在发现自己犯错的时候所产生的内疚之心就叫做悔过。可是我突然间有所领悟，悔过似乎不是这样产生的才对，这种悔过的心态也大概不会持久。问一问自己，相信很多人的悔过都是这样产生的。我们都是犯下过错，等到错误引爆成为无法弥补的过失才来悔不当初。似乎有些太晚了。最糟的是当这份悔过随着时间消退时，警惕心也跟着烟消云散，接踵而来的就是重蹈覆辙这四个字。我想真正的悔过应该不是这样的吧。真正的悔过应该是在错误发生之前有所悔过，也就是说，只要一旦犯下错误的举动，在错误“引爆”之前就应该有所举动，而且尽量弥补过失，把过失及迫害降到最低。假如可以的话，尽量把重蹈覆辙的几率减到最低。（因为我了解我们不是圣人。人生中往往危机四伏，谁能担保漫漫人生中不会再捉错另一步？）
写了这份悔过感触不是想要弥补自己的什么过失，只是想提醒自己，也提醒有缘的人，学会珍惜做对的每一个时光，及时醒悟做错的每一步，让人生中不再有任何的悔悟。

幸福感应

2008-05-13T20:16:00.004+08:00

星期二，炎热的一天。以为自己高兴的我，仍然看着《老友记》。也不知道自己是真的高兴，还是可以的笑着来掩饰自己的空虚寂寞与无助难过。可以确定的是，在看《老友记》的时候，我是在笑的，但看完《老友记》之后就开始觉得寂寞也开始想念。可能我真的在利用《老友记》来麻醉自己，想让自己忘却烦恼，暂时抛开想念。（picture taken from wikipedia)
不明白为什么《老友记》能过成功的定住我的灵魂，可能是因为故事情节类是我向往的生活。尤其是Monica Elizabeth Geller和Chandler Muriel Bing的感情生活使人觉得好温馨，不仅令我为他们感到幸福。沉静在他们的幸福中让我忘却自己的问题，似乎觉得人生多了一线曙光。有时候会这么想，如果将来的人生像他们一样，不知多么幸福呀？但这天会来临吗？没人说得准，只有时间能见证。幸福有时像阳光。。。，你同意吗？

人类的沟通方式

2008-05-11T12:54:00.001+08:00

忽然间觉得自己的人生中的沟通很想出现了一些问题。因此很想表达自己对于沟通的认知。我必须承认自己对于沟通这个问题并不很了解，没有办法做全面的分析，但我还是想把自己的感情抒发开来。基本上人类的沟通分为意下3种：第1种是人类与人类的沟通，这里包括了人类自己与自己的沟通，也就是心理对话，第2种这是人类与电脑的对话，这里指的不止是人类利用某些步骤来操纵某些机器，这里也涵盖了人类通过不一样的通讯科技与另一个人类对话。第3种则是人类与动物的对话。
虽然活了22年，但是坦白的说，在这3种沟通方式面前，我还是一个失败者。以第1种沟通为例，虽然人们普遍认为第1种沟通方式是3种沟通方式中最容易的一种，因为人与人之间的沟通不因该会有任何隔阂，人与人之间能通过各种不一样的管道让另一方明白自己的心情和想法，这种沟通方式是其他方式远远不及的。但事实上，我常常觉得，人与人的沟通并不那么简单，虽然沟通的管道与方式很多，但人还是不免在沟通上产生误会，就算是基本的自我心理对话有时候也能产生误会，因为人很多时候都不知道自己心理真正的想法，甚至不知道自己要的是什么。很多时候，我也有这样的想法，我既不会很好的把自己的心意传达出去，也不能了解自己真正要的是什么，因此，我往往会把第1种沟通弄得一团糟，就算跟自己说话，很多时候也不知道自己要什么。
人们普遍认认为年轻人对于第2种沟通方式较为熟悉，也比较能过适应这种沟通方式。但事实并非如此，很多人对于操控电脑器材都是门外汉，就拿洗衣机来说，假如没有学过根本就不会操控它（奇怪的是，往往会操控洗衣机的都是家庭主妇）。而人们通过通讯科技器材来与另一个人沟通时往往也有很多不足之处。近来与好友通过电邮和手机简讯沟通，一直都有很多的问题困扰着我。通过这种媒介沟通，我根本无法了解他当时的情绪或心情，我也没有办法感觉到他当下对我的感觉，我跟无法知道他的近况，又或许我又没有打扰到他，这些都是通过通讯科技器材沟通的问题。但严重的是，很多人认清了通讯科技的一些不足，但人们还是选择以这种管道沟通，舍弃原有的传统沟通方式。我觉得好困扰，假如人与人之间仍然选择以次等的沟通方式来取代传统的沟通方式，人与人之间关系是否很变得更脆弱？我想大贵会吧。不！我因该说，一定会。虽然大众心底，我真的不想这件事情发生在我身上。
大概，人人多都会认为，第3种沟通方式是3种沟通方式中，最困难的一种。其实，依我的看法，第3种沟通方式，似乎是三种沟通方式之中，最容易的。因为，人类跟动物似乎像好朋友一样。虽然经常听见人们不幸被动物杀死或咬伤，当这些现象通常都是因为动物本身饥饿或是害怕，而不是沟通上出现问题。动物往往会迁就人类，而人类在面对自己心爱的动物往往也会变得和善很多。在这样的沟通方式下，我们看到的是彼此的包容与谅解，沟通所得到的满意度相信是3种沟通方式中最高的。
假如人与人的沟通能带有多一点包容和谅解，就像第3种沟通方式一样，我相信人与人之间的关系会更加完善。活了22年，也不常看到人与人之间的沟通能到第3层次，就算老夫老妻也常常有拌嘴的时候。也不知道自己是否有幸能目睹那一天的来临，但我却深深期待自己能有一天能过到达第3层次。

心情不好

2008-05-09T22:17:00.000+08:00

不知道为什么，以为考试过后心情会特别好，可是一切并不如人所愿。考试过后的第一天应该是快乐的。可是我还是没有感觉到一丝的快乐，感觉有些孤独，多了一份寂寞和空虚。真的还蛮讨厌这种负面情绪。我需要让我的情绪快乐一些，但快乐很想离得好远好远，对我内心的呼唤不理不睬的。
可能考试期间，我把全部的精力都花在考试上，所以才没有察觉到这份负面情绪的存在。也或许是考试期间，这份负面情绪根本已经存在，所以在开始期间一直很不安。
无论如何，真的希望快乐和幸福能赶快找上门，因为：“我要快乐，我要能睡得安稳。。。”

照明灯

2008-04-12T22:45:00.001+08:00

原本没有时间写不博克，但听了自己亲姐姐的一番话，觉得心如刀割，所以写下这篇博克。同样的话说了千万遍还是难以让人信服。昨天写下的博克，还是让人联想“断袍”，无限难过。很想说的是，我的干哥哥，是这世上我见过最好的人，假如你没看过超人的话，我想我是幸福的，因为我看到了。更令我感到幸福的是，“超人”竟然关心我，他让我明白我是有潜能的，同时它也让我知道这个世上有人关心我。事实上，活了那么久，真的觉得关心我的人不多，就连自己的家人很多时候都让我感到他们漠不关心，父母并不很关心我，可能他们早把期望放在大姐身上，大姐关心的也似乎只是我跟干哥哥是不是走得太近。感觉上，我已经变成了家里的租客，对大众的谈笑风生只是为了掩饰那股被家人冻结的温暖。只有干哥哥真的关心我的未来，在乎我能否自给自足，关心我是否会成为一个有用的人。庆幸我还认识超人，感谢上苍在寒冷的冬季给了我一盏照明我前途的灯。但愿上苍仁慈能让我拥有这盏灯照亮我的这一生。

无价之宝

2008-04-12T01:34:00.000+08:00

一直不明白为什么一些古装戏里，毁了容的女人永远都不让至亲看到自己的容貌。今天终于明白了。今天送走了干哥哥，他要到台湾受训。不尽意的出现似乎让他吓了一跳，也感到惊喜。已经好久没谈那么多了，也好久没看他笑得那么灿烂。我从心里感到无限的甜蜜，对于这次的“冒险旅行”总算没有白费，虽然他有些气我浪费自己宝贵的时间，但我还是宁愿相信她是高兴的。领走前，他要我先走一步，目的是不想让我看到他在工作时的样子，她不想让我看到他冷酷的样子，我猜他是怕吓到我吧。其实我宁愿相信他是怕吓到了我也不想相信他不想让同事见到我这个没用的弟弟。事实上，它也是那么告诉我的，因此我宁愿相信他的话。在这一刻，我真的觉得好幸福。这或许是我二十二岁最好的礼物了。
想起我刚上到他的脚，真的觉得好心痛，希望她能赶快好起来。离开不久已经开始想念。。。这么办？真的希望他能早日归来，我们也能够早日相见。上天呀！假如您看到了我的博客，我诚心祈求得到您的祝福。

二十二岁的两份礼物

2008-04-06T00:15:00.002+08:00

四月五日，我收到了二十二岁的第一份礼物。正用着我的礼物打字。我的这份礼物是一份手提电脑的辅助机。这份礼物是干哥哥送的，收到这份礼物时，非常意外，干哥哥要我自己看看哪一个是我的礼物，本来以为他买了毛绒玩具给我，我还是很高兴。没想到他送我的却是价值百多元的电脑辅助机，让我觉得受宠若惊。大哥说我的坐姿不正确，为了让我改掉坏习惯所以买了这个辅助机。真的觉得很心痛让他那么破费。这可能是我今年收到最珍贵的礼物，珍贵不只在于价钱，也在于大哥的用心。大哥原本只能用一个下午来陪我提前共度生日，可是我却故意有心拖延时间，把一个下午变成了一天。虽然看得出大哥的疲倦，但他却坚持帮我庆祝生日，这么好的大哥哪里找？真希望时间停留，让我永远能保留这份感动。我往往都无法真心相信他人给予的爱，也无法相信自己的直觉。希望这次我能真心新人握在手里的幸福，不去践踏，但给予关爱。谢谢大哥！

It's all Karma

2008-03-30T02:08:00.000+08:00

I ask myself if I should feel sad about not having dinner with my god-brother this Saturday. My answer is no, I should not be sad. But well… things turn out different… I am sad, awfully sad. I shouldn’t be this way I feel, but I guess I have to answerable for it. I kind of have this feeling things might not work out right this Saturday, maybe something will crop out all of a sudden, maybe it’s rain so heavily things might cancel etc, and the reason being I broke my promise, an important promise. I believe, it’s a form of karma, I broke my promise and bad karma comes so I have to pay for it. If I was given another chance, I’ll never break it, I am so sure because I am so regretful now. It always seem impossible for me to realized my mistakes before I can prevent myself from committing it. I just hope that nothing bad will happen. If god is ever around and he reads my blog, how I hope he can constantly remind me in a gentle way to keep to my promises so that I don’t have to face with any bad karma. As for now, all I can do it’s to endure the lonely weekend, it might seen pack, but it’s lonely. I guess that’s how my life should be, a university’s student’s life.

CH2291, Chinese Tradition SUCKS!

2008-03-19T20:46:00.000+08:00

I have to say I hate it when I am force to tell the truth sometimes. But I have to tell everyone, everyone who in NUS, about to enroll into NUS and considering to study in NUS. Please for your own sake, please reconsider again, and please reconsider a trillion times before you decide to take the module CH2291, Chinese Tradition, because the module SUCKS! I am referring to the particular event today during my tutorials. I was stopped from asking more questions during a presentation from other tutorial mates by my lecturer. I have to admit that my intention of asking questions during the one of the presentation was out of bad purpose. 2 of the tutorial mates who were presenting today were initially from my group (our 1st presentation consist of these 2 group members, me and another girl). However, these 2 tutorial mates’ claims that they want to do a different topic and hence decided to go separate ways. But never did I expect to see both of them doing the same presentation today. It’s quite obvious there’s something fishy. I feel that I have being deceive, how despicable are they! Claiming they wanted to do a different topic and yet in the end doing the same topic together. Can’t they just tell the truth that they don’t want to do the presentation in the same group?
I decided to take revenge, to ask questions so as to put them in a difficult position. But neither did I expect, my lecturer was so enthusiastic that he stopped me from asking more question, claiming that there was no much time left. Well… I have to say, it looks so contradicting, on one hand, he wants us to ask questions (and no one is willing to ask any) on the other hand he stopped me from asking further questions. Isn’t the purpose of education to pursue of knowledge and understand more? Well… not the case for NUS and especially not the case for module code CH2291, Chinese Tradition.
It may look like I am speaking like a devil here and that anger have made me gone irrational. But I strongly believe what I say is the truth. A lonely and cold NUS, where you can find no true friends but hypocrite who say something but act in another way. Lecturers who stop you from asking more just because they claim that time is up (what a reasonable excuse). People please be careful. Angle, I am so sorry I can’t see anything positive.

星期六的反省

2008-03-01T22:58:00.000+08:00

忽然间发现，一直困扰着我的是什么，那份无名的恐惧是这么来的。失去了一切之后，让我变得很彷徨，这份彷徨演变成了害怕与忧郁。黑暗的情绪就像一块黑布蒙蔽了我的眼睛，我竟然没有发现我把自己一步步推到竞技场上。我选择了竞争来报复，希望通过胜利来证明自己的生存价值。可是时间的流逝却让蒙住我眼睛的那块黑布变得越来越暗，我开始质疑自己的实力，我真的有办法证明自己的生存价值吗？又或许我的生存没有价值？我很害怕自己会再吃另一场败仗，失去了这么多，我真的没有能力再失去任何东西。我很质疑竞技场上的人真的是我的对手吗？我多么希望不是，我多么希望他是我能扶我一把的朋友。但有可能吗？或许我早已失去对友情的信心，没有办法再相信。

Feeling "Lotta Love"

2008-02-26T15:09:00.003+08:00

Same old day with same old procedure, it’s Tuesday and I am still busy typing my assignments. Forcing myself to feel happy or neutral about everything. I drown myself in my tutorials again. I don’t remember since when, but I started to get addicted to gold 90.5FM. Immerse myself with unfamiliar oldies. It’s really a unique feeling. I don’t know if I am really focusing on my work, but I am forcing myself to. Is it myself, or is it fate that I came across this song. The song is called “Lotta Love”, and it was sung by Nicolette Larson. It’s really unusual for me to like fast song, especially fast English songs. I decided to check through the lyrics and to my surprise, it is reflecting exactly how i feel. It's really a fast, sad, yet loevable song, makes you feel like you are drunk listening. Maybe it’s true that similar forces attract each other, positive always attract the positive and negative always negative.

Nicolette Larson LYRICS - A Lotta Love Lyrics

its gonna take a lotta love to change the way things are

its gonna take alotta love or we wont get too far

so if you look in my direction

and we dont see eye to eye,

my heart needs protection and so do i .

its gonna take a lotta love to get us thorugh the night

its gonna take a lotta love to make this work out right

so if you are out there waiting i hope you show up soon

you know i need relating, not solitude

gotta lot of love , gotta lot of love

its gonna take a lotta love to change the way things are

its gonna take alotta love or we wont get too far

its gonna take a lotta love, its gonna take a lotta love..

Monday Blues (a letter of regret)

2008-02-25T17:14:00.003+08:00

It’s the start of a recess week, finally a week to energize myself, to prepare myself for the next half of semester. Well… the university’s point of view is the same, recess week is a week for us to energize, but they did it in a different way. The source of energy they provides are tones of “nutritious” tutorial, assignments and projects. I am sitting in my room busy typing my assignment. The radio started playing “lost without your love” by Bread, the feeling of emptiness came back to haunt me again. I started to wonder if he is still alright? I started to worry for him, thinking of what could have made him look like he really disappear? My heart feels so heavy and pain, it feels like my heart have drown in the pond of misery, and sink all the way down to the bottom to my feet. I started to do more and more silly things, committing mistakes that I cannot redeem and making myself regret. But I don’t know why. Can’t I just be more independent? I really feel very helpless, the lyrics just seen to explain my life. I guess I must stand up and be more independent.

(Lost Without Your Love by Bread)

Lost and all alone

I always thought that I could make it on my own

Since you left I hardly make it through the day

My tears get in the way

And I need you back to stay

I wander through the night

And search the world to find

The words to make it right

All I want is just the way it used to be

With you here close to me

Ive got to make you see

That Im lost without your love

Life without you isnt worth the trouble of

Im as helpless as a ship without a wheel

A touch without a feel

I cant believe its real...

And someday soon Ill wake

And find my heart wont have to break

Yes Im lost without your love

Life without you isnt worth the trouble of

All I want is just the way it used to be

I need you here with me

Oh darlin cant you see...

If we had love before

We can have it back once more

Another Saturday

2008-02-23T13:24:00.003+08:00

Another Saturday have pass, I reflect on my situation, nothing much have change expect for the weather. A warmer weather, a colder heart. I am still a lonely flower. It is perhaps a right time to stop, to stop thinking and to stop hoping, miracles only appear in fairytales. Loneliness does not change with weather. Lying on my bed typing, I am thinking what I can do other than hoping for miracles to happen. So please buck up! So anyone who sees me online, please chase me off and study.

Saturday

2008-02-16T16:11:00.002+08:00

The day is boring with cold wind and a sun that comes and goes. The cold wind froze my heart signaling me a negative aura. I am hiding in my room mugging waiting for miracles to knock on my door. Will miracles come and knock on my door today? I wonder. Will he come over today? Will we meet today? The wind continues to blow strongly, the sun hide behind the dark clouds.
There is no answer other than the increasing pain in the heart. Perhaps it’s just the cold wind blowing, or perhaps my heart is too cold, it start to froze.

Reflections and Confusion

2008-02-10T20:26:00.000+08:00

I thought my mind has master the art to take things easily, to feel free about the world changes, the stay emotionless to every single form of evolution.
But I actually underestimate myself, I am still made of flesh and blood, emotions still runs through every single cell of my body.
Sadness, anger and hatred capture my heart, strangling it's neck, suffocating it, stopping it from taking the last breath of oxygen.
Friendship and betrayal pounders my mind, forcing me to question myself, am I just a selfish jerk, who is immersed in my thought of jealousy?
Or are my eyes telling me the truth, pushing me down the cliff of truth?

Wiseman, please give me a direction.
Please give me eternal happiness and fill the cliff of truth with thoughts of wisdom. If life is all about 1,2,3, perhaps there will never be sadness…

The concept of "unconditional love"

2008-02-10T00:44:00.000+08:00

This New Year is really I will never forget, not because of the joy it brings me. But how much pain I am feeling deep in my heart.
It’s the 9 of February today; I was waiting for my god brother’s arrival. I was hoping everything will be back to normal after we have some misunderstanding few days before New Year. I bought him a $300 Asics voucher to get him the best track shoes he need, but never did I expect this issue lead to so much unhappiness. He return the money to me and requested that I shall never spend any money on him anymore. He never spend so much in his life to buy a pair of shoe for himself, it must have really hurt him a lot. We argued about this issue and never did I expect, this issue actually ruin my new year.
Previously before we argued, we have actually agreed to catch a movie on the 9 of February. But it did not happen… he still came over in the evening today. But it was really just for a short while. He got his washed running singlet from my cupboard and left. Claiming that he is meeting a friend for dinner.
Seeing another of my close friend at the door, I finally understand that he is meeting him for dinner. On their way to dinner, they really look so close, I really feel so outcaste, I am like a total stranger. Next, we were actually need to take the train to somewhere for dinner, I was so careless that I actually forgot to bring my wallet along, knowing that he should have an extra EZ link card, I requested from him. But he said that he only brought one of his EZ link card along. However, just before I was about to purchase a new card, he actually claim that he found the extra card in his bag, I really makes me feel that I am not welcome…
He took out his new I pod mini from his bag and said that it’s a present given to him from a friend and he took one day to learn how to use it. After hearing this, I am really very depressed and shock, how can it be so unfair? Why can he accept an I pod mini from a friend, a t-shirt from the friend that we are now together with? And yet totally reject my present? This is so unfair.
During the journey and during dinner, we didn’t talk much; I was watching them talking more than myself talking. Never did I expect the present to elevate into such a horrible issue. The feeling of unfairness captures my heart, the feeling of loneliness haunting me. I feel that I am being betrayed, by my best friend. How can the world be so unfair? Why is it that my present is not being accepted?
I sincerely question my concept of “unconditional love”. Am I doing the right thing? What is the concept of “unconditional love” again? I have this crazy idea of getting the shoe back, and returning him the money, but I need a lot of advice, I need to know what the right thing to do. I want to reverse time so that nothing bad had happen before. But is it possible? “Unconditional love” is to give without asking, but that is not enough. The real form of “unconditional love” is perhaps to give what is needed and yet without hurting the other party. I really need so advice…

2008 Chinese Horoscope‏

2008-01-07T22:17:00.000+08:00

well.... found this on the net, i was hoping if it'll be helpful for anyone. do tel me whether it's accurate or not:)

General

Many people may have the misconception that when the year has the same animal sign as you are, most likely your luck is going to be worse than usual. This is not the case for you this year. This year is going to be filled with good news and opportunities. This is a great time for you to transform your dreams into reality - to pursue the dream job, the dream position, the dream salary, the dream business etc. Do not feel that your dreams are out of reach as you will get the support, meet the right people and find the appropriate resources that can bring you to your goal. Keep your heart and mind open. Remember that no matter how good the stars align for you, you still have to do your part in order to reap the best out of it. On the other hand, there will be more disputes, arguments, betrayals and misunderstandings than usual in this year. Try to be humble, keep yourself calm and objective at all times. Things will turn out well. Avoid being too stressed out. Watch out for being hospitalized and having surgery and being involved in accidents.

Career

Promotions, pay rises and more power is in store. If you have plans that you would like to implement, this is the time to do so. You will get the support from authority figures and relevant people. If you have been thinking of starting a business, this is also a good time to do so. On the career front, there will be more disputes and arguments and many may not be able to see eye to eye with you or may not be able to understand the way you handle situations. Remember to be more patient with others. Try to spend some more time in explaining and convincing rather then bulldozing your way through.

Wealth

It is very good for both your main sources and side sources of wealth.

Relationship

For those who are attached or married, there are more tensions in relationships this year. The frequency of disputes, cold wars or misunderstandings is higher than usual. Keep the communication channels open and be more patient with each other despite the high levels of stress that you may be going through. For those who are single, the chances of meeting the right person or falling in love in this year is rather slim. Your abrupt behavior or unpredictable temper could push away your suitors. Try to stabilize your temper and observe yourself through a third party's eyes.

Health

While you are busy reaping the best out of this year, remember to have adequate rest. There is a high tendency of having illnesses such as the flu and other illnesses that are related to anxiety such as headaches and gastric problems. There are also signs of being hospitalized and involved in accidents.

People

There are a lot of arguments, betrayals and misunderstandings this year. Avoid getting into head- on conflicts with others. If you feel that someone is testing your patience or trying to antagonize you, show the person how gracious you are by being patient and smiling it off.

Action

Place a Howlite and Smokey Quartz Cluster near you. It can be on your office table or in your bedroom.

General

Good News! You have a premium ticket throughout this year. This is especially so for males. For females, you would gain more benefits if you could get assistance and support from males. In general, you will do very well in terms of career and wealth. If you have any plans, personally or professionally, this year is the time to put them into action. Despite your success in career and making more money this year, you will still feel a strong sense of insecurity and emptiness within. You will tend to be moody and depressed. Your moodiness will affect your emotions, relationships, wealth and health this year. This may lead you to indulge in activities in order to escape from the truth. The deeper you try to bury the issues, they will come back to haunt you. Why not take the opportunity of being in such a good year to work on these issues?

Career

This is a good year in terms of career. There are chances of promotions. Your bosses and authority figures will give you ample opportunities to shine. You are going to exceed their expectations. You will be given more trust and responsibilities. There are also signs of salary increases. If you are in business, this is also the year to consider expanding your business, increase your market share and grow your revenue.

Wealth

It is very good for both your main sources and side sources of wealth. However, you might overspend this year. Whether your money will be able to grow exponentially depends heavily on whether can you save this year.

Relationship

For those who are married or attached, it will be a rocky year. This is mainly due to the insecurities and moodiness. The relationship tends to grow weak and brittle when one party is always not in a good mood. Gossip or devious third parties could easily worsen the situation. Communicate clearly as to how you feel to your partner. If you are unhappy and it has nothing to do with your partner, let your partner know. For those who are single, the chance of getting attached is slim due to your emotional instability. Before you can attract the love of your life, you need to stabilize your emotions first.

Health

Your health is average in general. Do not indulge in activities that might harm your health such as drinking and eating excessively.

People

Average. You do not need to worry about back-stabbings and betrayals.

Action

Place a Citrine or an Agate in your room or office to stabilize your emotions. Place a Vanadinite to curb overspending.

General

You will be very busy this year and will always be on the move. There will be more traveling. There are even signs of moving house, migration or relocation. How well this year could be for you will depend heavily on yourself because there are not many lucky stars shining on you to provide the conveniences that you might need. The good news is that that there are not many obstacles before you to begin with. You will still do very well if you have been giving your best in terms of your career and financial management. You may feel especially emotionally detached this year and would like to have more personal space. This certainly will affect your relationships. The area that deserves your special attention is in the area of health and safety. There is a higher chance of falling ill or being involved in an accident or being hospitalized and having surgery this year. Please take good care of your health and have adequate rest. If you have elderly people at home, be careful of their health and safety too.

Career

In terms of your career, you will be able to perform well if your job or business requires traveling or moving around. You will also be able to do well if you are in sales or you earn on a commission basis. This year, even though you may have a very tight schedule, ensure that you do not make impulsive judgments because there are great opportunities to be had. Do not allow your lack of time to be an excuse to deny yourself of opportunities and benefits that come you way. While you remain open and receptive to success and prosperity, do your own homework and use your wisdom. Do not rely too much on others.

Wealth

This is highly dependent on whether have you been sowing the seeds and utilizing the opportunities that are presented to you. If you have been doing your homework well, rest assured that your wealth luck is favorable.

Relationship

It will be a quiet year for singles. For those who are attached or married, you may spend less time with your partner due to your busy schedule, or you may go into cold wars frequently, or you may even feel emotionally detached from the relationship. There are even signs of a breakup. This year is a challenge for relationships.

Health

There is a higher tendency of falling ill this year. Be careful of safety too. For those who have elderly people at home, be cautious of their health and safety too.

People

Do not need to worry about people problems this year.

ActionPut a metallic dragon at your wealth or Gui Ren position. Carry a jade Pixiu.

General

There are more obstacles for those who are born in the year of the Rabbit compared to last year. More restrictions and sudden challenges will impede progress of your desires. Your concentration is weaker and your attention span is shorter than usual. Hence, there is a strong tendency to overlook details or being forgetful. This year, it is important for you not to make impulsive decisions and if a decision is required, try to give it more time to think it through or request someone who you can trust to go through the details with you. The good part of this year is that your popularity is running high. It is a good time to build rapport, to meet new people, to meet people who could help you and to socialize and to be in a team. This year the people who could help you are females. While you are the star of the town, there are some green eyes casting their unfriendly glances at you. Remember not to make yourself an easy target for betrayal. There is a high chance of being involved in legal disputes.

Career

There are more sudden challenges that are expected to jump at you this year. Hence, always make contingency plans. You will function better in a team. If you could arrange the resources such that your teammates handle the technical or operational parts of the job while you handle the marketing and public relations side of it, your success rate will be higher. There will be more office politics this year. Be prepared to protect yourself well against it. Avoid gossip corners. Avoid flaunting your success or your popularity. There may be legal disputes due to envious people.

Wealth

Be extra careful when it comes to investments this year. This is mainly due to a lack of concentration and a shorter attention span. Either sleep on the idea for some time before making a decision or request someone that you could trust to go through the fine print of the contract before signing on the dotted line.

Relationship

This is a very good year in terms of relationships. Those who are attached will have a high chance of getting married this year. There is a strong chance that singles will meet the love of their lives. For those who are married, the passion in their relationship will be burning bright.

Health

There is a high chance of falling ill and being accident-prone. Have adequate rest to ensure that you are always alert. This is especially so for those who drive.

People

There are many back-stabbings and betrayals this year. Avoid sharing too much information with people who may have a conflict of interest with you. The irony is that due to your strong popularity this year, there are some people who will not like you to be so likeable and decide to make life tougher for you than it should. Protect yourself by not flaunting your popularity and keeping a low profile. There are signs of being involved in legal disputes this year.

Action

Put a Hematite to reduce the chance of being involved in legal situations. Place a Metal Pagoda in your concentration area on your office table. If you drive, you will require a Chan Chu Wealth Toad in your car.

General

Though you will have many opportunities in terms of promotions, bestowed more responsibilities or the expansion of your business this year, there are more challenges ahead compared to the year of the Pig. You will be busier than usual but not necessary fruitful due to severe people problems. There will be more misunderstandings, betrayals, back-stabbings, and disputes this year. Hence, it is important to watch your back. Do not participate in any gossip corners and certainly avoid direct conflicts with others. There is also a high probability of being involved in legal situations. This year you might want to have more personal space. You will also be interested in religion, philosophy, metaphysics and other new age topics. This is a good year for those who are studying or doing research.

Career

The authority figures, management or your boss are likely to give you more opportunities to show of your strengths this year. There are more chances of promotions or being given more responsibilities. If you are in business, you may be considering expanding your business. You will be busy this year. However, severe office politics will prove to be very challenging for you. Avoid direct conflicts with others. This is the time to utilize your diplomatic skills. Do not trust anybody on the career front this year.

Wealth

Though your wealth luck is good this year, there is a concern of losing it through legal problems. If you are investing this year, you must do your own homework and go through the fine print. Even if it means that you need to take a longer time and greater effort to study into it before making a decision, it will be worth it.

Relationship

For those who are attached or married, you may want to have more personal space this year. For those who are single, the probability of meeting someone special is rather slim. Hang in there.

Health

You may suffer from lethargy, gastric and stomach problems, weak concentration and a short attention span. You may be more forgetful. Try to have adequate rest and be positive. Most of the health issues that will arise this year are due to people issues and being too stressed out. It may make you feel demoralized and even cause you to doubt yourself. Ensure that you surround yourself with a positive environment and positive people.

People

People problems are severe. Try to be humble, diplomatic and tactful. Avoid getting into any direct conflicts with others. Back-stabbings, betrayals and misunderstandings are very common this year. While others are trying to irritate you, especially on the career front, it is important to understand that you need to focus on your own goals and do not let others offend or affect your emotions so easily.

Action

Place a Hematite and Aragonite in your office or home.

General

This year is a better year than the last, but there is still a lot of instability lingering around. On the bright side, there are many people who will help you or give you the opportunities along the way. However, there are also rather severe people problems this year. There are many back-stabbings, betrayals and even direct confrontations. You will have very good wealth luck this year, but at the same time you might suffer from an obsessive and compulsive behavior when it comes to making purchases. You tend to get obsessed over certain items and do not mind overspending or engaging in impulsive shopping sprees. Due to this behavior, it is going to be difficult to accumulate wealth this year. Another aspect to take note is that there is a high probability of falling ill this year.

Career

Office politics can prove to be rather painful. Even when there are opportunities given to you to implement your plans or when you have nearly reached your goal, there will be someone who will try to block you from success. Be careful of how you deal with them. Avoid direct confrontation and try to get more support instead.

Wealth

Though your money luck is good this year, you will tend to overspend this year. You will find yourself easily engaging in impulsive purchases or indulging in shopping therapy. Try to have a good look as to how you spend your money. You might have difficulty in accumulating wealth and even spend more than you earn. Be aware that it is always good to save for rainy days.

Relationship

For those who are attached or married, there is a high tendency of quarreling or going into cold wars. It may be partly due to the high stress caused by your work. Another possible cause of disputes is due to gossip or people who want to place a strain on your relationship. Ensure that you have good communication with your partner and do not get into a quarrel due to hearsay. For those who are single, you might not be in the right state of mind or emotion to be in love. Hence, even if the love of your life appears, there will be great hesitation on your part and you may miss the opportunity.

Health

Not good. You tend to have injuries such as sprains or fractures this year. You are also more accident prone than usual. If you need to drive, please ensure that you have adequate rest.

People

There are severe people problems this year. There are many irritating people that might obstruct you from your goals or make life more difficult for you. Beware of betrayals, back-stabbings and misunderstandings. Avoid getting into direct confrontations with others and always appear to be nice. Your temperament may be very unstable this year and will attract more people problems. Try to control your temper.

Actions

Place a Vanadinite in your wealth sector. Put a metal gourd in you health sector. If you are driving, you need a Chan Chu Wealth Toad for your car.

General

This is a very unstable year for those who are born in the year of the horse. The assistance that you can get from others is very minimal this year. Hence, it is important for you to make the best conscious effort to reduce the challenges you will have to face this year by being alert and prepared for all eventualities. There are many challenges this year. This includes overspending, being cheated by others, making losses in investments and getting involved in legal situations. Please be extra alert this year in terms of reading of the fine print in documents. Ensure that you really understand the details before committing and signing on the dotted line. In terms of investing, do not trust others easily. Do your own homework and take note of all the paper work. Apart from this, do not be guarantors for anyone. In addition, your health is unstable this year. If you have elderly at home, do take note of their health and safety. Keep to a safe and conservative approach this year to stabilize your life instead of trying too much. The ripples that you create might cause a huge wave that swallows you later.

Career

This year, try to keep a low profile. Do not get demoralized when there are lack of opportunities and many restrictions that impede progress in your career. This year, it is important to remain calm and to spend more time strategizing rather than trying to be in the limelight. If your job requires you to sign contracts, ensure that you study through carefully the fine print before putting your signature on the dotted line. Do not make impulsive decisions. If there are people who would like to entice you in to investing, make your own assessment and do not trust people easily. You are vulnerable to being cheated this year. Be careful and avoid legal situations.

Wealth

You tend to overspend or make losses in investments this year. Beside, there is a probability of being cheated or getting involved in legal situations. This year, avoid making investments or lending money to others. Try to stick to a stable income rather than thinking about making a quick buck. Conservative wealth management suits you very well this year.

Relationship

For those who are attached or married, be careful of infidelity this year. A moment of happiness will cause a lifetime of regret. Be disciplined. This year, you will have enough challenges in many aspects of your life. You will need great support from those you love dearly. Do not let them down. For those who are single, you may have a hard time holding on to a stable relationship.

Health

You tend to fall sick easily this year, especially digestive problems, flu and colds. You are also more accident prone than usual. If you have elders at home, be wary of their health and safety too. For those who are elderly and born in the year of the horse, be careful of your spouse's health and safety as well.

People

There are people trying to cheat you this year. Do not trust others easily. Not only are they looking to cheat you in a monetary sense, they also will try to steal your opportunities. You can still be nice and yet hold a very strong conviction of not sharing sensitive and confidential information.

Action

Carry a jade Pixiu with you. Place a Hematite in your office or room. Place a Prosperity Garden and Vanadinite in your wealth position.

General

This is a fantastic year for those who are born in the year of the Goat. This is the time to implement your plans and to reap the fruits of labor that you have sowed. You will get the support and assistance from the relevant people easily. Though your luck is generally extremely good this year, remember to stay humble and always have contingency plans because there are many sudden crises too. Do not let arrogance get in your way. There are signs of legal problems this year too. Hence, avoid any illegal activities. Though you will be able to cope with the obstacles that arise this year, do not attempt to push your luck. Do tread with caution too.

Career

Your career luck is very good. This is a good time to shine at work. You will get support from your authority figures such as your boss or the management. If you are in business, you will get the support of your clients and your business will do very well this year. Remember that while you prosper, always make contingency plans and expand conservatively. This year, there tends to be sudden incidents that may cause problems. You do not want to be caught off guard by it.

Wealth

This is a good year in terms of wealth. If you are investing, choose something that will grow steadily. If you are in business, allow your business to grow gradually. Do not rush into things. How good you are at conserving your wealth also depends on how well you are able to avoid legal situations.

Relationship

There might be more quarrels or disputes between those who are already in relationships, as there will more frustration this year due to stress. Be more patient and it is more important to communicate. It is much more difficult than in previous years for those who are single to find the right partner. For those who are single there will be more concern about the stress caused by other aspects of life.

Health

Be careful of illnesses that strike suddenly, for example, heart attacks and strokes. You are more accident prone than usual. Do not engage in any high-risk activities. This year, it is important to follow traffic rules carefully and not to exchange conveniences with regrets. If you are driving, ensure that you have adequate rest.

People

There are more betrayals or back-stabbings this year. Some people may be jealous of your success and decide to make life difficult for you. Do be aware of this and remain humble and polite.

Action

Put a Hematite in your office or room area. Carry a jade Pixiu with you or a protection bag. If you are driving, you might consider having a Chan Chu Wealth Toad in your car.

General

This year is a good for those born in the year of the Monkey in terms of concentration and learning. You can get this chance to take up courses, pick up new skills, and get involved in research or strategy planning. Take advantage while your focus and concentration is running high. This year, there are many people who tend to speak ill of you, finger point behind your back or gossip about you. There tends to be more office politics revolving around you or people will try to get you into trouble. Avoid gossip corners at all cost. Of course, do not be the source of any gossip. What goes around will come around. Try to focus on what you are doing rather than focusing on what others are talking about you. Also, be diligent in your work and watch your back.

Career

This is a good year for career because you pick up information very quickly and are able to react to situations. However, office politics is very severe this year. There are people who will try to find your mistakes. They may speak ill of your, backstab you, finger point at you or try to get you into trouble. Shift your focus from others to what you have to do. Give your best shot and you will be able to reap the best out of this year.

Wealth

Average. It is a year that you can focus on conserving your wealth rather than growing it extensively. This year, it is important for you to be careful in terms of investment, lending money to others or being other people's guarantor as there is a high chance that you might get cheated. Try not to let greed lead you into losing more than you make.

Relationship

This year is an average year for those who are in relationships. Remember not to bring rumors or gossip back home. This will disrupt the harmonious atmosphere in the family. For those who are single, the chances of getting into a relationship are rather slim. Some misunderstandings might create embarrassment for those whom you are interested with. If you like someone, it is important for you to be communicate clearly to the person involved rather than letting the person get the news from the grapevine. Do not share sensitive topics with others or else they will become great gossip topics.

Health

There is instability in the area of health. You might have insomnia, headaches and colds. You are also more accident prone than usual. Please take good care of your health and safety. Do have adequate rest and do not let people's opinion affect your emotions.

People

Bad. There are many people who would finger point at you, speak ill of you or try to get you into trouble. Avoid gossip at all cost, and keep your communication clear. Avoid making unnecessary comments. Pay more attention to yourself and the things that you need to do. Keep your emotions in check.

Action

Put a Paua Shell and Lepidolite near you. Carry a jade Pixiu around. Do not place a golden rooster unless with professional guidance.

General

This year, you are especially popular and there will be much socializing to do this year. Everybody wants to be your friend. Everybody wants to be part of your projects. Everybody wants to be associated with you one way or another. This is a great time to build rapport, to meet new people and to be involved in teamwork. If you are in sales or business, this is a perfect time to increase your client base or to build your contacts. During this great time, there is one lurking potential danger that might cause a downfall in your good luck. It is that there are also signs of vices such as gambling, drinking, smoking etc. Do not engage in a moment's pleasure that might cause you a lifetime's regret. This year, there is also much gossip and rumors revolving around you. Do not participate in it. Always be responsible for your words and actions. Do not push your luck and get involved in illegal activities. Also do not get involved with people that you should not be around with.

Career

This is a good year in terms of career. You are be welcomed by your peers, vendors and clients. It is a great time to build rapport, to increase you client base and to participate in teamwork. Most of the time you will realize that your popularity is so strong that colleagues or your peers will volunteer to do the work for you. There will also be more entertaining this year. It is important not to indulge too much in it. Always uphold your professionalism and utilize your popularity in a positive way. There is a high chance that there are some office rumors about you flying around. Do not get involved in any 'indecent proposals'.

Wealth

Your wealth luck is good this year. There is a good chance that you will be able to increase your savings this year. However, there are a few possibilities to foil you plans. One is that there is a high tendency that you might overspend on entertainment and socializing. Another is also not to get involved with illegal activities or people that you should not be with or else you might need to spend a huge amount to buy yourself out of trouble.

Relationship

For those in relationships, there is a high tendency that there will be a third party or the relationships may be hurt by rumors and gossip. It is important to be faithful, honest and maintain clear communication with your spouse or partner. If any misunderstandings arise, try to clear the air soon. Do not take your spouse or partner for granted. For those who are single, this is a great time for you to get out there and meet new people. There is a high chance that you will meet that special someone.

Health

Do not overindulge in drinking, overeating and staying up late. Do not drink and drive. Remember that maintaining a healthy lifestyle will prolong your popularity and good luck. If you have elders at home, take care of their health and safety.

People

People will like to gossip and spread rumors about you because you are the hot topic of the town. There is a price to pay for being famous. You are responsible to keep your image and watch yourself closely. Even if you do not, many curious pairs of eyes and ears will not stop prying into your matters.

Action

Place a Hematite, Pagoda, prosperity garden and Amber in your office or room.

General

There is both good and bad news for those born in the year of the Dog. The bad news is that there is much instability this year. Your plans may seem to be smooth sailing but will suddenly hit a rock. You tend to be accident-prone this year and may have cuts and bruises. There are also signs of surgery. The good news is that you are given a special waiver card this year to wave off your troubles. In another words, no matter what crisis, challenges or obstacles you face this year, it will turn out well. The only thing you must remember is to keep your cool in the face of trouble. The solution will come to you before you know it. If you have elders at home, do take note of their health and safety.

Career

This is an average year in terms of career. The only concern is that you always need to make contingency plans for whatever you are doing. The reason is that the challenges usually will strike fast and when least expected. Though the problems will resolve themselves, do keep your cool in the meantime so as not to aggravate it.

Wealth

This is an unstable year for wealth. Sometimes you may find that you are earning a lot, but you may also realize that you have spent more than you should. It is important to watch your expenses.

Relationship

If you are attached or married, your relationship is stable. If you are single, there is still a chance for you to meet someone especially in the early part of the year. If there are some suitable candidates, do consider seriously whether you will like it to develop into a relationship. Do not take too long to think because the opportunity will not wait for anyone.

Health

You are accident-prone this year. You tend to have cuts and there are signs of bleeding. There are also signs that you might go through surgery. Please be extra careful in terms of your safety, especially if you are handling sharp objects or operating heavy machinery. If you have elders at home, please take extra care of their health and safety.

People

You do not need to pay much attention to this area in this year.

Action

Put a metallic gourd in your health sector. Put a metallic Pagoda in your wealth area. Carry the jade Pixiu with you.

General

For those who are born in the year of the Pig, though you have moved away from the unstable year of 2007, this year is not going to be easy for you too. Your health will be one of your top concerns this year. You are more prone to falling ill. It is more important to conserve your energy. Though you may have very outstanding performances in your career, you need to be very selective in who your allies are because there tends to be more power struggles this year. You will find that there are not many people who can help you. It is important to keep positive thoughts and surround yourself with positive people.

Career

On the career front, there are many power struggles. Office politics and unhealthy competition does not help matters. You need to be careful in who you choose to be your allies and also be careful of not getting involved in unnecessary matters. You will need to put your foot down where necessary. Do not let others push you into a corner. This is the time that you need to revise and implement your political skills. Focus your energy on doing your work well and you will find that you are able to produce excellent results. If you are in business, you will be able to stabilize your business this year. However, do not act aggressively. Go slow and steady and you will be able to achieve more in the long run.

Wealth

Money matters could be quite tight this year. Avoid investments.

Relationship

If you are in a relationship, you will have a loving year. You will get the support from your spouse or partner through these unstable days. If you are single, you will have a high chance of finding the love of your life this year.

Health

Not good. You will be more prone to fall ill because your immune system is especially low this year. Due to a lack of rest and spreading yourself too thin, you will increase your risk of being accident-prone. Please pay extra attention to your health in terms of having a healthy diet, keep your stress levels in check and do exercises regularly.

People

People could be quite nasty to you this year. You need to focus on what you want to accomplish and keep your eyes focused on your goals. Do not get distracted by gossip and power struggles. Remember to be calm and adopt your diplomatic skills.

Action

Place a Metal Pagoda in your wealth position. Carry a jade Pixiu. Place a Scepter near you.

小小心理测验

2008-01-07T22:00:00.000+08:00

发现了这个心理测验，觉得蛮有趣的，因此上载于博客任君欣赏：

测验一
你经过面包店的门口 ,面包店里新鲜的面包刚刚出炉 , 香味四溢 , 以香味来判断,你觉得是哪种面包呢 ?
A . 菠萝面包
B . 奶酥面包
C . 牛角面包
D . 起司面包

测验二
这是一个令人难忘的玩具城 ,因为里面有让人看过一次之后 , 就会吐到不行的恐怖玩具 ,在这些玩具当中你觉得哪个最让你想吐 ?
A . 眼睛流血的骷髅头
B . 满脸脓包的水怪
C . 凸眼长舌的妖怪
D . 流脓暴牙的秃头虫

测验三
你在海上发生了意外 , 被海浪冲到一个荒岛上去 ,醒来后看到旁边也有个人 ,你希望是谁 ?
A . 有生活能力的哑巴
B . 好吃懒做 , 但是会讲笑话给你听的人
C . 喋喋不休 , 但是会服侍你的人

公布结果：
测验一:你的金钱观如何?

选A菠萝面包的人要问哪里有便宜好康,或是有什么俗搁大碗的东西,找你就对了!你天生就是小气家族的忠实支持者,能不花自己的钱,就可以达到最大的收获,是你一生追求的目标.

选B奶酥面包的人你对于金钱的概念就像乱成一团的毛线,很难理出一个头绪来,理财对你来说,简直是痛苦至极,自己有多少钱,你从来没搞清楚,反正只要今天口袋还有钱,管它明天会怎么样.

选C牛角面包的人当用则用,当省则省,你对于自己的经济状况蛮了解的,如何在每个月的支出和收入之间取得平衡,是你对自己的要求,对于理财也小有概念,有计划的花钱,让你的生活一直在水准之上.

选D起司面包的人你的品味不错,算是一个注重生活品质的人,在你的生活哲学之中,精神的满足会比金钱的付出来得重要,虽然不至于挥金如土,但确实不太在乎金钱的支出,一切花费的原则都是:开心就好!

测验二:你有同情心吗?

选A眼睛流血的骷髅头的人你的个性十分坚强独立,非常受不了别人动不动就哭哭啼啼的模样,你觉得无论是发生什么天大的事情,最后都会有解决的办法,每一个人都要对自己负责,实在没有什么好同情的.

选B满脸脓包的水怪的人你就是心太软,情感丰富,听到一段感人的故事就会落泪,看到小动物受伤就会难过,你是一个有爱心有同情心的人,只要别人有难,你一定尽全力帮忙,可以去参加好人好事代表了!

选C凸眼长舌的妖怪的人你对于表现同情心的分寸拿捏的很好,绝不愿意当烂好人,当有人真的需要你帮忙时,你会义不容辞的付出,但若是助纣为虐的帮忙,你就会抵死不从,很有原则!

选D流脓暴牙的秃头虫的人你也是一个有同情心的人,不过要和你很熟的人,才了解你的真性格,因为你平时看起来冷冷的,说话很直接,有时伤到别人的心都不知道,说具体一点,就是嘴硬心软,明明热心助人,嘴里却不承认..

测验三:你会发生外遇吗?

选A有生活能力的哑巴的人你的观念很传统,行为也很保守,会遵守社会道德的规范,对于男女之间的界线划分的很清楚,不伦或外遇的事情,绝对不会发生在你的身上,同时,你对于另一半的要求也是很严格的,简直就像是虔诚的教徒,无论如何都要严守记律一样,不容许出一点点的差错.

选B好吃懒做,但是会讲笑话给你听的人对于外遇这一档事,你是既期待又怕受伤害,你不会主动去招惹别人,或是故意制造这样的事件,但是如果因为环境或外力的因素,产生了一些暧昧不明的关系时,你往往会禁不起诱惑而掉入外遇的深渊,但是在事发之后,又会责怪自己不够坚持.

选C喋喋不休,但是会服侍你的人的人你不愿意给承诺,无法给对方安全感,外遇机率非常高,是危险份子,和你在一起就必需承受你朝三暮四的个性,不能忠实的面对另一半,可说是你的惯性,无论表现的多么真诚,也都只是一时的,你总是不能控制自己的情欲,忍不住要到处拈花惹草.

（记得告诉我准不准哦！）

圣诞礼物

2008-01-06T01:47:00.000+08:00

昨晚收到了大哥的简讯，告诉我他把我刚送他的圣诞礼物（memory card 和mini SD card）弄坏了，并且向我道歉。说到这样的简讯让我的心情非常复杂，我真的不知道应该高兴，还是应该以平常心对待，还是应该生气难过。

收到简讯后我立刻回了一个简讯给他，因平常心的心态告问他怎么会弄坏，也告诉他无须道歉因为礼物是他的。但他没有回讯，就在大约四分钟后我终于打给大哥。他告诉我只是外壳有损，损坏的原因则不明，里面的晶片则完好无损。本来想今天为他买一个外壳，好让晶片重新操作，但他拒绝了，说是自己会买得，还说自己原本就有一个储存片，不需急着卖。我想了想，没有外壳他如何确定晶片无损？他又为何不让我去买多一个外壳给他？他又为什么要告诉我他原本就有一个储存片？因此我一直怀疑他并没有把外壳弄坏，而是把整个礼物弄丢了。

我一直在想，假如他真的弄坏了，我后续因该高兴。因为这样的结果代表的时他又用新的在用我的礼物，礼物也大概是无时无刻德在他身边，所以它才会弄坏。这么说来我因该是高兴的，因为这代表我买了一个对他有用的礼物。

其实我觉得礼物不是我的，因此就算是不见还是坏了我都不应该如此在意与执着。因为这样物品已不是我的所以我没有立场去在乎它。在这么说，坏的，不见的，压不过就是一个圣诞礼物，它早晚都会损坏，而问题的关键只是时间。因此何必为了一个小礼物让自己的情绪又说波动？

但爱钻牛角尖的我，不免还是有所伤感。礼物的损坏或不见得给我一种非常可惜的感觉，这让我觉得他并不是很珍惜这份礼物，对他来说这个礼物真的不重要。更糟的是，假如他真的弄丢了，为什么要欺骗我说是弄坏了呢？难道我们之间就不能坦诚相对吗？

想了一天让我无法入眠，我真的不想再继续被这件事困扰。我真的希望把这件事件写下来，让这些负面的想法从脑袋中流入博客，慢慢从脑袋中消失。有可能吗。。。？

魔鬼曰：一个晶片在短短一个月内破坏的确是很不应该。假如是不见的话更突现出用者的不用心与不珍惜。兄弟间的确应该坦诚相对，假如有所隐瞒的话，兄弟就不是兄弟了。

天使曰：做人应该尽量往好的方面想，没有必要为已经发生的事难过。对礼物的损坏或消失都都应该感恩，至少它真的帮了哥哥一段时间。兄弟之间不因该要求太多，你能要求自己对哥哥坦诚相对，但你不能要求哥哥对你没有隐瞒，因为每个人心中都有不想让人知道的秘密。就算他真的不见了，但却跟你说是弄坏了，也是为了不让你更伤心。所以说，你太自私了，根本没有站在哥哥的立场想一想。

Tiramisu

2008-01-05T12:18:00.000+08:00

今天上网的时候忽然间发现了Tiramisu的简易做法。从认识Tiramisu开始我便开始爱上了它。不知道大家有没有听过这个关于Tiramisu的故事？听说Tiramisu是在二战的时候发明的。二战时期某个战士被诏出征大战，战士的妻子知道丈夫要出征于是想为丈夫准备一顿好吃的。但由于是战争时期，家里的材料有限，家里只剩下一些乳酪、鸡蛋、酒等。妻子于是用了家里所有的材料，做了一个蛋糕给丈夫，而这个蛋糕也就是今天的Tiramisu. Tiramisu在法语的意思代表“带我走”。可能就是这些感人的故事让我对Tiramisu的爱超越了其他的高级蛋糕。

不知道身边的人是否对Tiramisu有兴趣。不过我还是想把做Tiramisu的方法上载在我的博客让有兴趣的人能够亲手做一个Tiramisu给自己生命中重要的人。（希望这样上载不会违反版权）

（video extracted from: http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-make-easy-individual-tiramisu-pots)

如果你不捕明白英文的话，以下是影片的中文翻译：
材料：（4人份）

1. 3个蛋黄
2. 100克砂糖
3. 250克马士卡彭乳酪
4. 400克奶油（搅打过）
5. 250毫升意大利浓咖啡或 3小匙的即溶咖啡*
*（把即溶咖啡粉容于250毫升开水，在取3小匙即可）
6. 2大匙白兰地酒
7. 20只手指饼干
8. 50克可可粉

做法：

1. 在铁锅里加入1/3的水煮沸
2. 把砂糖和蛋黄搅拌在一起
3. 然后在铁锅上隔水加热及搅拌直到有些熟
4. 之后让它冷却下来。

5. 把马士卡彭乳酪和冷却的蛋黄和砂糖搅拌至均匀
6. 把奶油加入（5）当中搅拌均匀。

7. 把意大利浓咖啡加入白兰地酒中（用汤匙搅拌）
8. 把手指饼干浸泡在（7）当中几秒。

9. 把两只浸过的手指饼干放入杯中
10. 然后把（6）加入杯中，直到杯的一般高度
11. 之后再加入三只手指饼干放入杯中
12. 最后把（6）加入知道杯满。

13. 把（12）放入雪柜中几分钟让它定形
14. 在食用前，把它从雪柜中取出，在上面撒上可可粉，即可食用。

希望大家能试试做做，让心中重要的人尝到自己的心意，也让他把你的心意带在身边。
（试过的人要高叔我能们的故事和结果哦！）

晚宴（食谱）

2007-12-31T22:40:00.000+08:00

十二月二十九日的聚会晚餐虽平淡却温馨。大哥由于圣诞节执勤因此只好把晚宴延期至二十九日。这是第一次在博客上称呼他大哥，或许认识我的人都会觉得奇怪。妈妈只生了我和姐姐，哪里来的哥哥？我指的哥哥就是刚结拜不久的那位好朋友，他终于承认我并以兄弟相称。真的好高兴以弟弟的身份邀请他来吃饭。
除了邀请大哥，我也邀请了大哥很久没见的好友，它其实也是我的好友，其实我一直觉得好友更适合当大哥的兄弟，他更了解大哥，明白大哥的需要，也能给予大哥真正的需要。说真的，很多时候，我甚至认为大哥更加喜欢好友也比较疼惜他，我还认为大哥会跟我结拜完全出于同情，而并不是有心结拜。虽然亲耳听到大哥说跟我的结拜不是出自同情，而是因为我有可取之处，但我心里总觉得不踏实，总觉得我不配。我希望有一天我能改变自己的想法，变成大哥的骄傲。
还是谈一谈重点吧。不知道为什么，突然想谈一谈晚宴上的菜肴。晚宴上的菜肴大多都是妈妈准备的，我只是在一旁帮忙，但已经觉得精疲力尽，可见要准备一场晚宴还真不容易。但一定要说的是妈妈的厨艺真的是一流。吃了那么多家常菜，还是妈妈的最像样。
第一道菜是炸金瓜。首先是在XO粉中加一些调味料和水，然后把切好的金瓜沾上面糊。把沾好面糊的金瓜放入锅中炸至金黄即可。刚炸好的金瓜会有些硬也非常烫，但当它冷却后会较软化，感觉上有些像在吃炸地瓜一样。我把完成的作品拍下来，不知道大家觉得好吃吗？
第二道菜是腐乳肉，妈妈从来都没吃过外头买的腐乳肉，但她却能煮出和外头一样水准腐乳肉。这道腐乳肉的特色在于它不像外头买的腐乳肉那么油腻，但它最好吃的时候是在它刚刚炸出来的时候。由于妈妈在准备这道菜时，我没有注意看，因此没有办法把做法写下来让大家欣赏，但我把这道腐乳肉拍了下来，让大家能有视觉上的享受。
第三道菜是炸鸡，这道菜很简单，只要到购物市场买包炸鸡，照着后面的做法即可。但妈妈坚持要我用烤的，她说炸的菜太多了，这样很不健康。“烤”炸鸡很简单，只要先把烤箱备热，然后把炸鸡块放入烤箱，没事粉中翻一次，直到金黄色即可。
第四道菜是妈妈的拿手菜。首先是把蒜头先爆香，之后把菠菜和虾快炒，勾个芡即可。妈妈老爱炒这道菜，但我却不太喜欢这道菜，因为我讨厌蒜头的味道。妈妈煮这道菜的时候，我往往把虾先吃完，只剩下菠菜。这张照片便是开饭前先拍的。
第五道菜也是妈妈的拿手菜，做法和第四道菜的做法大同小异。材料有：蒜头、红萝卜，冬菇、包心菜、鸡肉，煮法与第四道菜相同。由于有蒜头的成分，因此我对这道菜也没太多好感。
第六道菜也是母亲的拿手菜。我们一家都是潮州人，而潮州菜中最出名的莫过于蒸鲳鱼。妈妈蒸的鲳鱼和外头大酒楼买的一模一样。妈妈这回在蒸鱼中加了几片黄梨，让鱼的味道更加鲜美。可能是以为这次的鲳鱼没有妈妈要求的那么新鲜，所以妈妈才回家黄梨提味。
第七道菜是妈妈的新菜，大家觉得这道菜是什么？看了第一眼或许会觉得是蒸魔鬼鱼。但这其实是一道素菜。主料是蚝菇，其它的配料和蒸鱼一样，只要把鱼换成蚝菇即可。大家有兴趣的话可以试一试，不过一定要说是许妈妈（或卢塞银女士）的菜哦！
最后一张合照是这次晚宴的大合照，我把所有的菜肴都拍下来。本来是想拍这次参加晚宴的大合照，但我猜想大哥一向不爱拍照，为了让大哥吃得舒服，所以我打消了拍合照的念头，改拍菜肴的合照，就让它象征参加这次晚宴的合照吧。

圣诞庆祝会

2007-12-23T18:33:00.000+08:00

还剩不到三天就到圣诞节了。不过大部分的庆祝会都猜不多过完了，忽然间又重七两的感觉，好像圣诞节已经过去了，有些悲哀感伤。生病已经快要一个星期了，但不见起色，让我更觉悲哀。但还是抱着希望，希望这个圣诞不会这么平平淡淡地度过。12月19日的“老同学”圣诞庆祝会真是回味无穷。虽然是生病，但还是快乐的。。。

每年的庆祝会都过得很简单，大多的时候都是在我家庆祝，今年也不例外。（原本今年的庆祝会是在美枝的家，但由于它也生病，因此把庆祝会盖在我家举行。）几个女人聚在一起便开始打牌，这似乎也是我们每年庆祝会种必要的项目。

仔细的看一看我们的几个赌后吧！看看我们的赌后们个个都有自己的气质，好可怕呀！到底谁才是真正的赌后呢？

再看看今年大家的礼物交换，很高兴的是，我们多很喜欢今年得到的礼物。这么多年的友情似乎让我们摸透了彼此的兴趣与爱好，让买礼物的人轻松，收礼物的人快乐。在这一刻，我真的觉得我们是幸福的，虽然我们都把礼物的价钱定在$15-$20，但我们大多都花了超过制定的价钱，而收礼的人也不嫌弃礼物的价钱。这便是友情的见证。
圣诞节总是少不了蛋糕美食。今年的蛋糕是巧克力雪糕蛋糕，巧克力的味道非常浓。可能是食物太多了，也可能是因为蛋糕太“巧克力”了，很多人都没有办法吃完，有点可惜。我们还买了一个非常可口的鸡肉派，它的味道真的是好极了，听说是在新达城买的，真的希望明年的圣诞也能吃到如此可口的派。虽然派在送来的旅途中受到压挤有些走形，但形象还是没有影响味觉。
今年还是要谢谢妈妈，多亏妈妈帮我准备一切的食物否则这次的圣诞会也无法顺利举行。难得的是准备这么多，她还不是很累，还有精力在准备后玩电脑游戏，再次说声辛苦您了！

Vivo的圣诞

2007-12-21T22:13:00.000+08:00

冠怡陪我到到“怡丰城”（Vivocity)走走。本来应该是七点见面，但没想到一拖再拖，最后赶到那里的时候已经是九点多十点了。大多的店也都要关店了，我们俩到了那儿才发现没有东西吃，但还是过得蛮愉快的。谈一谈那里的装饰,由于夜深又饥饿，我们都没有到外头拍照，只是呆在室内拍一拍。“怡丰城”的装饰特点在于很多的装饰都很卡通化，所用的黄、红、青色，让卡通化的装饰充满了圣诞的气氛。

Plaza Sing的圣诞

2007-12-21T22:09:00.001+08:00

一直想把看到的圣诞装饰拍下来，让后上载到博克上，但发现自己越来越懒惰。自想拍不想写，其实我也不知道要写什么，只是想把美丽的画面记录下来，让大家看也让自己看，让回忆由一些色彩。首先向呈现的是”Plaza Sing”附近的圣诞装饰，大致上的装饰很温馨、很传统。假如没有去过，建议大家能晚上去，而且一定要跟心爱的人去。那种温馨的感觉会从心里发出来，很浪漫的。

父母

2007-12-21T22:07:00.000+08:00

今天和很久不见的朋友谈话，发现她忙得昏头转向，谈完之后，我有很大的启示。朋友告诉我他现在正处于80%的经济独立状况，就读于“南大”的她告诉我父亲没有多余的钱给她用。因此现在她是靠着姐姐每个月给她的$100加上自己的多份兼职来维持生计。

我的第一个想法是：这么朋友的父亲这么不负责任？既然生下了女儿就应该满足她基本的人身需要，这么可以连零用钱都不给，最后还得让女儿靠着姐姐给的$100和自己的兼职来维持生计？但往另一个方向想：朋友的父亲是不是真的没有钱了？或者是因为担心朋友把钱花在不正当的地方所以才说自己没有钱？原来做父母也是一种很大的学问，要做好一个父母的角色并不容易。我在想假如我以后当了别人的父母一定不能让我的儿女受苦，我一定要让他们在经济上和心灵上得到满足，不然我就有愧为父母了。

看了看朋友的遭遇，我想我大概是幸福的。虽然在经济上我大部分的零用钱都是从父母那里骗来的。但我不至于得为生计忙碌，能安安心心的度过这个假期。虽然经济上还是有些困难，但我相信我大概是幸福的。

魔鬼曰:现代父母的责任心真是缺乏，能生不能给真是悲哀。。。
天使曰：父母真的不好做，没有做过父母的人，永远躲不知道身为父母的辛苦。但懂得惜福也是中莫大的幸福。

人生观

2007-12-16T20:35:00.000+08:00

发现自己的人生观与大众不同，因此想提一提自己的人生观。不知道是否是因为自己天生悲观，还是一向爱钻牛角尖。对于人生中的好事往往都觉得不可能如此一帆风顺，它一定会有它的附带品，要不然就是快来临的有效期限。
大多时候，我都无法接受人生中大大小小的变化，无论是好坏。坏事发生时，充满悲哀，好事发生时，充满怀疑。人生中爱钻牛角尖的性格似乎与生俱来，其实我真的很希望对这种负面思考做出一些正面的回应以及改变。但可悲的是这种性格好像真的是与生俱来。这么样的改变，它还是纠缠不清。有人能告诉我能这么做吗？
忽然间想到了弥勒佛，重觉得他好了不起，好像能容易且不能容之事。我多么希望自己能像弥勒佛一样，能容一切人生中的变化。（但我不想要那个大肚腩。。。）如果能够抱着感恩的心去面对发生的好事，抱着学习的心来面对人生中的不如意，哪有多好呀！我为自己设了一个目标，在有生之年一定要学会“弥勒”精神。

魔鬼曰：人生中的质疑与负面情绪是人的本性，要学成“弥勒”似乎是天方夜谭。
天使曰：不要质疑上天给予的恩赐，抱着感恩的心去接受它。把不如意当作是上天的考验以及等待下次恩赐的过渡期。人生中有如此宏大的志愿的确值得赞扬。

Sanso birthday (Part4)

2007-12-11T23:48:00.000+08:00

Finally, we shall talk about the main focus: Sanso. Let’s talk about the cake for her birthday first. Actually I am not sure who bought the birthday cake, but it really looks lovely, it’s just a pity that I can’t eat it because it’s not vegetarian.

We can see her blowing off the candles on the birthday cake. I must say Sanso’s sister must have really put in great effort to prepare this birthday party. 3 cheers for Sanso’s sister!

The last picture is the most memorable and meaningful picture among all the pictures we have. It really signifies the strong friendship between us. Time and space might always be there to deter friendships from getting stronger, but so long as we have the friendship in heart and we continue to persevere, friendship can be a bond that last forever.

Sanso Brithday (Part3)

2007-12-11T23:45:00.001+08:00

Let’s talk about another fragment of our group. I am talking specifically about Guan Yi and Ying Ying. It really surprising how close they can be despite the fact that they parted since secondary school. I always envy friends who can get so close despite time and space. It’s really surprising what is the force in between friendship, the bond holding 2 people together, perhaps the strongest things on earth is not what that is visible instead, the strongest thing might be in fact what we can’t see. Look how close they are:

Sanso birthday (Part2)

2007-12-11T23:38:00.001+08:00

Although we call ourselves, “the group of 10”, but I have to admit that most of the time. We prefer to stick to usual people we like, it is rare to find all of us involve in the same activities, I guess this is because all of us have different personality and attitude. (Sometimes, I really wonder how we manage to form a group like this)

Notice that most of the time, Melissa is always with Mei Zhi. (In fact, most of the time, it used to be Melissa, Mei Zhi and Sock Mui, but unfortunately Sock Mui is late for the event)
Melissa is one of the most photogenic girl among the group, I’ll consider her as the girl who knows how to dress up herself best. Well, but please don’t assume that she is the most mature among the group just because she is good at dressing herself up. Haha, look at this photo and judge for yourself how childish she is. (Hint: she doesn’t play the piano)

Sanso Birthday (Part1)

2007-12-11T23:30:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Sanso’s sister, we finally have another excuse to gather together to celebrate. I can still remember that day was just one day one day before my math module final exams. In fact, most of us are having exams during this period of time. But what is touching is that most of us actually make the effort to come and celebrate Sanso’s birthday. (Well, the only person I can remember who wasn’t present was our dear HuiJing, but I’ll say this is understandable, she really needs to be serious about exams.)
In more details, this celebration was actually a surprise party organized by Sanso’s sister, there was quite some work to prepare some food, a bit more work to find excuses to date Sanso out and finally and good “accident” to get her rushing back home.
One of the more special reasons why this event is different from the other events we have is because, this is the first time Mei Zhi is officially introducing her boyfriend to most of us in the group (pardon me, but I really can’t remember the name of her boyfriend). Look at how lovely they are sticking to each other most of the time. (Pictures are display in sequences order)

Notice that they get closer and closer in each photo. It’s really glad seeing her growing, getting a job and finally getting herself a boyfriend. At the same time, it also reminds us that time passes so quickly and we are getting old so fast. I sometimes really wonder, who will be the next to be attached?

To my Dear Sister, Eileen

2007-12-09T17:04:00.000+08:00

前几天写的博克似乎给自己惹来了一身的麻烦。《澄清》和《clarification》的原义在于说明为什么我对朋友为什么有如此待遇。但没想到大家把重心转到了我和姐姐的关系，还我惹得一身骚。最可怕的是自己的姐姐也上了博克看到了我的肺腑之言，结果更我发了几天的闷气。我要说的是：“我好冤枉啊！”。其实我早就该想到会有这样的结果，我发现无论是在哪方面的写作，我的作品往往都会引起一些争端与不满，也不知道为什么会这样，希望不是我的写作太差的问题吧。
我必须澄清一下，我的姐姐并不是一无是处，也不是完全没有人性。就在那天写作《澄清》和《clarification》时，由于爸妈出国，给的钱又不够，因此她在工作之前便留了$20。姐姐扮演的角色和我爸爸的差不多，通常多是扮演经济援助者的角色。（说到心灵上的沟通，可以说妈妈又用过心，但她还是没有办法完全了解我。（这不是重点））
我想说的是姐姐其实也是由他得好的，但可惜的是她没有办法完全了解我，没有办法和我做心灵上的沟通。但最重要的是她没有办法给予我需要的保护与温暖。
人们常说，朋友可以选择，但父母无法选择。我多么希望可以选择自己身边的人，不管是朋友或家庭，甚至使敌人都能自己选择。（假如让我选的话，我宁愿没有的人）这样的情况有多好，但往往是非人愿，又有多少人能真正做到呢？我猜因该没有人吧。。。
假如姐姐有机会看到这个博克的话，我想对她说声对不起，让她伤心了那么久真是不好意思。希望这次争端能够化解，人生难得能够认识多么难得，更何况是做姐弟，珍惜现在，把握未来才是关键，不要等到一切消失才来悲哀。

天使曰：知足常乐，不知足，不会惜福者，永远都留于痛苦悲哀中。
魔鬼曰：要求才有进步，没有要求，永远没有要求只会停留，原地踏步。

爷爷的生日 (part3)

2007-12-08T00:32:00.000+08:00

下来的一张是媳妇之间的合照，这张合照是好辛苦得来的。妯娌之间也不知道是害羞，还是各藏心病，都不愿意合照。可见女人之间永远都只有战阵，竞争排除原理用在女人身上一点也没错。

最后一张照片原本是工人篇，也就是让两个女佣和爷爷一起拍照。但不知这么的，三婶婶的两个女儿也凑了过来。。。看起来就是奇怪。
无论如何，我想说的是辛苦妈妈了。她永远都没有埋怨的做着，也没想过值不值得。她不只是个伟大好妈妈、好妻子，也是一个很伟大的女性。妈妈你辛苦了！

爷爷的生日 (part2)

2007-12-08T00:27:00.000+08:00

不想让这样的幸福消失，我赶紧找大家一起来拍一个合家系列，首先上场的是姑姑和爷爷的合照。大家都说他们是虚假的三姐妹，就像三朵花一样，不过是三朵块枯萎的花。哈哈！你们觉得呢？
接下来的是叔叔们的合照，爷爷有六个儿子，四儿子由于在马国无法前来祝寿，听说是因为自家经营的百货店很忙，因此没有来。五个儿子果然长得不一样。
之后便是女婿们的合照，大家有发现吗，这张照片几乎没有办法容纳这四个人的宽度。。。

爷爷的生日 (part1)

2007-12-08T00:17:00.000+08:00

搁置了好久的博克终于有时间写一写，由于考试期间没有时间写作，博克沉静了好久都没设么动静。今天是考试之后的第二天，终于有时间写作，恨不得一次锅巴要写的都记录下来。首先要写写的应该是爷爷的生日。
事实上，爷爷的生日已经过了好久，我都不记得到底是什么时候了。后来看了看药瓶才发现原来爷爷的生日会是在11月18日（爷爷生日那天，我刚好生病去看了医生）。爷爷的生日会是在我们家开的。妈妈前一天就已经忙了好久，准备好菜，虽说每个人都会带一些菜肴来，不过看来，还是我妈准备的最辛苦。（事实上，无论是忌日或生日我妈永远都是最辛苦的。奇怪的是许家的其他媳妇都不知道在做些什么。。。）还记得生日会的前几天，磨个叔叔说会带很多的菜肴来，结果似乎也知道了以两盘菜来，不如之前所说的那么多，不过也没设么关系，幸亏我妈准备得够多。
虽然病的有些辛苦，但碍于叔叔和姑姑都在场，因此只好硬着头皮撑下去。我一向都和亲戚们不太亲密，因此这样的聚会还满闷的。姐姐带了男朋友来吃了午饭之后便躲到房间里头，不知道再搞些什么。哈哈！我跑到了姐姐的房间去，故意做个电灯泡也顺便看一看姐姐是否会处事待人之道。果然，姐姐还是傻傻的，说话还是有些幼稚，也有些笨笨的。哈哈！我想到了自己的博克，赶紧要求姐姐和男友和拍一张。他们起初还以为我在开玩笑故意离得远远的。后来知道我真的要把他们的照片上载到博克时才认真地合照一张。你们觉得他们有夫妻相吗？
拍了姐姐的夫妻照之后，我才想到《致父亲母亲》的合照（请参观博克一“开场白”中的照片），那照片是多么的温馨，多么快乐。我这才想到我们家也好久没有拍这么温馨的家庭照片，于是我赶紧把爸爸妈妈唤来，一起拍照。第一次感觉到拍合照的快乐与温馨，那是一种蜜糖水流到心里头的滋味，甜滋滋的。现在仔细一看大家也都晓得好灿烂，这或许解释家庭的魅力吧:)

To Roman:)

2007-12-08T00:02:00.000+08:00

Everyone must have been wondering. How did Alan Xu manage to add the “tag box” in his blog? How did Alan Xu manage to add music into his blog? Etc.
Well… I have to be honest; I wasn’t any of my effort. I want to sincerely thank my friend Roman. Thanks for your effort in helping me in making my blog more interesting. HTML, is never my form of language, I guess I can never master it one day either. But anyway thank you so much.
More information: Roman is my NUS classmate, we took the atmospheric chemistry module together and this is where we get to know each other.
I sincerely thank you for your help no matter in my atmospheric chemistry module, or helping me in setting up my blog, or maybe even helping me in telling me the directions in NUS. I thank you for all your kind assistance and sincerely wish you all the best in whatever you want and whatever you do:)
See ya again nect year!

clarification

2007-12-07T13:03:00.000+08:00

I guess, this is just a translation of “澄清”. Since I started writing, I heard so much comment. Haha, one of the more worrying ones come from the response I have from the blog on “an unexpected Saturday”. Friends wrote some comments after reading, they say it sounds so “GAYISH”. This response really surprises me! How did such a feeling evolved among these friends? Well… but I guess it’s better to make things clear so as to prevent any form of misunderstanding. This is the reason why I wrote this article I guess…
I used to have the dream of having a brother since I was young. The reason might be because my elder sister wasn’t very nice to me since I was young. We were not in a very nice relationship when we were young. (I need to say my sis have started treated me better since she started dating, I am really happy about this.) Furthermore, friends around me always tell me that they have a good elder brother, a brother who can protect them, who will always be there whenever they need any help. I guess this is the reason why I always envy friends who have an elder brother. (I guess I am just another Cinderalla when I am young… sobz…)
This friend that I mention in “an unexpected Saturday” was actually an ex-superior of mine during my NSF days. (I still regard him as my superior now, although I have already ORD, I will always regard him as my superior forever) I know him since my NSF days in 2SIR, however, we never really know each other (neither did we talk much in camp), it was until I started learning swimming from him, then did we started to talk a bit more.
Many of my friends who do not know him will surely be confused why did I put in so much effort in regarding him as a friend, but I guess people who really know him in person will surely have the same feeling as mine. He is one of the bravest, most hardworking, most serious person I have ever seen on earth. Assuming that humans are differentiated in different quality, I will say, he is the cream among the crop, or something better than that. In terms of working attitude, he is one of the most serious and hardworking guy in the workforce, in terms of friendship, he is the most loyal friend you can ever find. Although he always says that he is neither a good friend nor a good company, but the fact is that, if he is not a good friend, I am sure you can never find a better friend on earth. (This is absolute truth!)
I can still remember him helping me when I was sick, he came specially over to my place to see me and stay over-night to take care of me just to ensure that I am alright, he control over my diet just to ensure that my cough is recovering in no time. He pay for my chiropatic treatment first when I was unable to pay for the bill. There is so much things so good about him that I simply can’t describe here, perhaps, it’s until anyone who sees him in person then will they know how good he is. A person worth the respect from everyone on earth.

澄清

2007-12-07T12:51:00.000+08:00

朋友说看了我之前的《两杯拿铁》，感觉有些不太舒服也不太习惯。问题的所在，就在于感觉上我和文中所提到的好友，有类似“断袍之恋”的感觉。我的第一个感觉是：天啊！怎么我写出来的自传竟然给大众这么错误的感觉？人们到底怎么看待我和这位好朋友的感情？
因此特别写了这张博客来澄清一切。首先必须说的是，我的人生里只有一个亲生姐姐。事实上，在我的记忆里我和姐姐的关系并不很好，我们也经常吵架。姐姐和我的关系似乎是在姐姐叫了男友之后才有所好转，但这个转变期是在今年年中才开始的。（事实上，没有人知道这个转变其能维持多久。。。）
常常听到好友的哥哥对朋友多好，对他们有多么的关爱。在这样的情况促使我对拥有一个哥哥的渴望吧。（其实我想了很久，这是我唯一想到的原因）
在我当兵的两年期间，我遇到了一个我最尊敬的人。他是我遇到最充满智慧、最勇于挑战极限、最伟大的一个人物。或许这么说大家都会觉得我夸张了些，不过我得郑重地说明，我并没有夸张这些内容。他真的是一个值得世界尊敬的人。他就是我当兵时的上司。
虽然说他是我的上司，不过我与他接触的机会不多。真的与他交上朋友是在他教我游泳的时候。我慢慢地发现他是一个很认真的人，他也非常勇敢、非常勤劳。假如把人分为不同等级的话，我大胆地说，他是属于一等的人。（我没有办法在这里细说他的功绩，但如果你认识他，你一定会跟我一样佩服他。）
他可以说是我崇拜的对象。促使我想认他为哥哥的原因很多很多，人格、行为上就不用多说。工作上他是最尽责的员工、友情上他是最忠心的朋友。但最让我感动的是，他并不在意我们身份上的悬殊，愿意与我交朋友。事实上，一开始他并不愿意与我交朋友，他认为自己是一个坏人，叫我不要太接近他。还记得在我今年生病的时候，他特地过来我家看我，还自愿留在我家里过夜照顾我。还有一次，当他知道我的背骨出现问题时，但却没钱治疗时，便主动掏钱出来替我付款。种种行为都让我觉得他真的是一个好哥哥，虽然他并不承认我，常常不承认我是他的朋友，但我却早已认定他是我最好的哥哥，并给予最大的努力来支持。
还记得有一段期间，他会过来我家陪我过夜。那段期间我真的很高兴，感觉上他就好像一个真的哥哥，无时无刻都在陪伴我、保护我。虽然今年我已经二十一岁了，但对于这么好的大哥哥我真的好时我法抗拒。

两杯拿铁

2007-11-14T00:35:00.000+08:00

喝了两杯拿铁，让我似乎失去了睡意。心里仍然有一种复杂的滋味，就像拿铁一样，有种苦中带甜，甜中带苦的滋味。今天过得还算不错，一早起身终于有了一种想整理功课的心情。于是就真地坐下来，认真地整理功课，有种真的像读书人的感觉了。
之后便买了蛋塔、去游泳，才回到旧兵营去。可能是因为人老了，竟然越游越吃力，没有像以前那样的冲劲。真希望有人能指点迷津，让我能真的发挥出自己的实力（也不想让对我有期望的朋友失望）。希望下次去游泳时能更加努力！
回到兵营有很多的感触，见到了一些老朋友和旧同事，发现了曾经拥有的幸福。虽然很多好朋友都不在这个兵营，但以前当兵时的那种感觉还是能感觉得到。比较起来，还真的蛮怀念曾经拥有过的幸福。但最让我回味的因该还是之后发生的事情。。。
出了兵营之后，又和朋友见面。本以为今天没机会与他见面，让我的心情非常复杂；心理是很想和这朋友见面，但却又怕会浪费他宝贵的时间，但我们终于还是一起共度晚餐，让我非常高兴。我们一起去买了他的手表，幸亏那家我介绍的店比别家店便宜了$10，让他没有白跑一趟。用了晚餐之后，我们还去喝咖啡。我在这个时候喝下第二杯拿铁。朋友在这个时候告诉我他看到的一种朋友分析法：朋友分为4个不同层面，第一层的朋友是完全相信朋友，并给予鼓励，就像把他当作神一样看待，对他深信不疑、第四层的朋友则是因为朋友之间有利益关系才维持朋友关系（以此类推）。他认为他还处于第三四层的阶段，因此对于身边的第一二层的朋友感到有些得愧疚。
事实上，我认为他对我是有些愧疚的，他认为我很傻，但就是因为欣赏我为朋友付出的时间才和我交朋友，让我非常感动。我非常高兴他说出“我是他朋友”的那句话，就像拿铁的那种甜甜的滋味。我真希望这杯甜甜的拿铁永远都喝不完。
但拿铁还是有咖啡的一种苦味。我还是感到非常惭愧，我还是不能完全做到“无条件的爱”（请看我的博客2）。我认为自己还是很自私的，我还是一直想见到这个朋友，与他再看多一场电影，吃多一顿晚餐。但我清楚的知道，这样做是在浪费他的时间，他有宏图大志，需要很多的时间，而我的渴望只会剥夺他的时间。这种行为与“无条件的爱”背道而驰，这样的感觉为甜蜜的拿铁增加了浓密的苦涩。真希望自己没那么自私。。。

魔鬼曰：你已经做了朋友应该做的。要求一点点的回报是理所当然的，其实不应该为一个没有同等回报的朋友付出这么多。

天使曰：你真的应该抛开那自私的想法，让朋友有更多的时间实现自己的宏图大志，只要真的做到"无条件的爱"才能让他得到他的快乐也能让自己得到真正的幸福。离”无条件的爱”你还差得好远好远。

an unexpected saturday

2007-11-12T14:58:00.001+08:00

Last Saturday was one of the more memorable Saturdays I will consider. Initially I thought that that Saturday will be a bad Saturday (something make me feel bad about that day). But luckily it didn’t came out that way.
I went out for lunch with my friend that day, it was then that I know that my friend had trick me about a course he was going, (the course is suppose to be later, he told me some date earlier). It was really a bit annoying knowing the fact that I had been tricked and enforcing myself to go on vegetarian these few days just to ensure his safety (I was hoping going on vegetarian could accumulate some merits for him). But knowing that he is well makes me feel more at ease that being annoyed. One of the more touching thing is that when we go for lunch, he ordered my food for me (it’s minced pork noodles). I am really very touch by the actions, he rarely did that for me, I am really touched. Despite I was on vegetarian that day, I still ate that bowl of noodles.
We went for dinner and movie that night also. Dinner was “Fish & Co.” and we went to watch “Stardust” (I strongly recommend this movie!). It’s donkey years since we last watch a movie together. It really brighten up one’s day watching a movie with a friend whom you are not able to contact for a long time. Maybe, it’s the movie itself that makes me feel happy also. The movie is so touching and humorous. One of the best thing I learn from the movie is that love is unconditional giving. I guess I have always neglected this important point in my life, providing friend with a conditional love. I believe I have not been giving enough for such a good friend and constantly expecting him follow the route I think it’s the safest for him. But little did I notice that this is conditional love. What a friend should do is not to stop your friend from doing what he desire, but to always be behind them and give them the full support that they need. I guess starting from today, I will start learning what is unconditional love and practice it. It's really a memorable day, I just hope I will remember this day forever.

开场白。。。

2007-11-09T10:59:00.000+08:00

开了这个博客这么多天，还是第一次开始写。心情是复杂的，总觉得自己有些落伍，到了博客盛行的几亿年后才来写这些有的没的。最糟糕的是，竟然在最繁忙时刻写了这堆“东西”哈哈！

最初开设这博客的想法，是因为看了“U”频道的连续剧《致父亲母亲》，有了很多感触，才决心设立这个博客。我想像剧里的“安老师”一样把每天可以记录的大小事情都记录下来。想象一下,假如不把生命中重要的事记录下来,人身会是多么的无趣。

（《致父亲母亲》的合照）

老天爷似乎也想让我写出一些更精彩的作品，竟然在我设立博客的短短几天，让我经历了那么多的起伏。

因此我将会用心写出我人生的最精彩。希望接下来的人身会因为我的记录而变得更加精彩。

等待吧博客！哈哈！

LiFe StOrY

琴虽静，弦不断

我不是你想象那么勇敢

生日与肚痛

我什么都没有，就只有一坛醋

《一切完美2》

想对命运说的话

总有一天会离开

冷春风

许家的丈夫，没一个好东西。

中文系？通讯传媒系？

中文系？通讯传媒系？

2009年的第一部电影

祝你幸福2009

醉梦 131208

雨点

坚强与柔弱

坚强与柔弱

给爷爷的诗

悲叹雨露由来一点恩，却非滴到我家门

手机的无理取闹

痛

堕落天使录

屈原复生 280908

凌晨的冷水澡

很想让自己放个长假

醒来睡意

无题

早点安排

黑暗新世界

继7月19日之。。。

记7月19日 （悲）

我不想做快餐族

上天开的一个玩笑

失望

忏悔三录

梦很幸福

期盼原谅

忏悔二录

一个星期的香水

经意与不经意的伤害

承诺论

BuddyShip

An Old Song

好事坏事？

反主为客

悔过书

幸福感应

人类的沟通方式

心情不好

照明灯

无价之宝

二十二岁的两份礼物

It's all Karma

CH2291, Chinese Tradition SUCKS!

星期六的反省

Feeling "Lotta Love"

Monday Blues (a letter of regret)

Another Saturday

Saturday

Reflections and Confusion

The concept of "unconditional love"

2008 Chinese Horoscope‏

小小心理测验

圣诞礼物

Tiramisu

晚宴（食谱）

圣诞庆祝会

Vivo的圣诞

Plaza Sing的圣诞

父母

人生观

Sanso birthday (Part4)

Sanso Brithday (Part3)

Sanso birthday (Part2)

Sanso Birthday (Part1)

To my Dear Sister, Eileen

爷爷的生日 (part3)

爷爷的生日 (part2)

爷爷的生日 (part1)

记7月19日（悲）