The day is boring with cold wind and a sun that comes and goes. The cold wind froze my heart signaling me a negative aura. I am hiding in my room mugging waiting for miracles to knock on my door. Will miracles come and knock on my door today? I wonder. Will he come over today? Will we meet today? The wind continues to blow strongly, the sun hide behind the dark clouds.
There is no answer other than the increasing pain in the heart. Perhaps it’s just the cold wind blowing, or perhaps my heart is too cold, it start to froze.
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Why do you wanna torture yourself like that? By doing so, it adds stress and guilt to e friend who gave you all tt pain and will make things worse. Different people have different personality and their way of life. Learn to look on the brighter side and not to force things. Many things in life are fated. If you all are meant to be lifetime buddies, you will eventually patch up.
ReplyDeleteThanks belle, I guess I really don’t know how to control over myself. Torturing myself when I am sad and lonely is the only way I deal with life. But I seriously don’t know what to do… how I wish I have the power to reverse time and erase any fault that I have committed. At this stage I am so afraid of making anymore friends, I have the feeling, it’s either I will hurt them, or they will hurt me someday…
ReplyDeleteThat feels like 'escapism', which is total not right. No one can guarantee 100% success or happiness in anything we do. But we cant because there is no 100% so stop doing everything. You gotta learn to control yourself. Dont let others dictate your life. Life is short is unpredictable, your have to learn to cherish life and time, do the things that are right and that you wanna do, do meaningful things, contribute to friends, family and society, so you will never have regrets. Forget about turning time back, what done cannot be undo. Learn to accept it and face the truth. Make amendments and repent. You dont live your life for one person, I believe there are other people around you, who truely love and care for you, who you ought to give your love and care to. I hope you continue to make friends and be happy. You are so young, enjoy and live your life fullest. :)
ReplyDeleteHi belle,
ReplyDeleteI guess you’re right, I shouldn’t let anyone dedicate my life. I am actually controlling myself now. In fact from that moment onwards, I have already decided not to make anymore friends, I’ll also not spend anymore money on my friends, lastly I’ll put all the focus on myself first and then my family and no one else except my family and me. I am sure through this way, I won’t be hurt and no one will be hurt by me. What do you think?